


behind the curtain, in the pantomime

by ShanleenKinnJaskey



Series: author's favorites [3]
Category: Glee, Glee RPF
Genre: ALL HAIL SANTANA, Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Basically if a warning applies to glee it applies to this fic, Behind the Scenes, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fix-It, Forced Break Up, Forced Lying, Hate Crimes, Implied Sexual Content, Is Finn minor when the fic focuses on Klaine and Santana?, Is this Glee RPF if the glee characters are played by themselves?, M/M, Minor Character Death, Rants, Sexual Harassment, Suicide Attempt, meta-ish
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-04-19 07:21:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 24,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4737650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShanleenKinnJaskey/pseuds/ShanleenKinnJaskey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Glee is a pseudo-reality show. The characters play themselves, but at times the producers decide to script certain scenes. This tears apart the kids in glee, who struggle to hold onto their relationships behind the scenes while they are forced to destroy each other on screen.</p><p>"It was all in the script," Kurt says quietly, "In the contract- we had to do whatever was scripted of us, as long as we weren't put into physical danger, but you already knew that, of course. But Blaine and I- we've been scripted since that episode." Kurt gives a dry, hollow laugh and Mercedes just feels <em>sick</em>. "Of course we have- I don't get to kiss him onscreen until episode 16. Finn and Rachel get to kiss all the time, Brittany and Artie got tons of time making out and they're even planning on showing the kiss from when Quinn cheated on Sam with Finn and Blaine and I couldn't even <em>hold hands</em>. Do you know how it feels, 'Cedes, to know that America would rather see me in lumberjack clothing and making out with a girl just to improve her kissing record than being with the boy I love? That they'd rather see heterosexual couples break up and cheat on each other than see a committed, loving gay relationship?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 4.14: the world’s more full of weeping than you can understand

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AlexaCardew](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexaCardew/gifts), [JustLikeTheSong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustLikeTheSong/gifts), [DasWarSchonKaputt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DasWarSchonKaputt/gifts).



> Advanced warning: not in Chronological order. Some chapters will be short, others will be long. Will appear as I write them, but I already have some written. Seasons 1-6 (save for the series finale) appeared on the reality show "glee" as in canon, but behind the scenes things were radically different.  
> Also, lots and lots of ranting from multiple characters about season 6.
> 
> Title is from "The Show Must Go On" by Queen.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title is from "The Stolen Child" by W.B. Yeats.

_"When the world gets cold, I'll be your cover_

_Let's just hold onto each other_

_When it all falls, when it all falls down_

_We'll be two souls in a ghosttown._ _.."_

 _-Madonna_ , Ghosttown

 

_**:** _

_**::** _

_**Did you vapo-rape my ex-boyfriend? Don't you walk away from me, Ms. Tina Cohen-Chang!** _

_**:** _

_**We're just friends.** _

_**::** _

_**:** _

"We're just friends, Tina," Kurt forces himself to say, even while brushing his hand against Blaine's below the camera's view. Reminding himself that the script only has this agony going on until the end of the season, and then Blaine can come to New York with him, is the only thing that gives him the strength to keep going.

He can see it in the eyes of his friends around the room during takes, and in how fiercely Tina hugs him after the scene is finally done, and in the sense of exhaustion hanging over the room- everyone is suffering, and they all feel sorry for one another. Finn and Rachel did break up anyway, and most of the newer New Directions are in relationships they're okay with, but everyone is sending apologetic glances at Santana, Tina, Blaine, and him. Brittany and Santana had been going pretty well before the producers had her break up with Brittany, and from the glances she's been sending at Brittany all evening she _still_ isn't over it yet.

And of course everyone in the room knows the truth about Kurt and Blaine's relationship, but bound by their confidentiality contracts they haven't said a thing. All they can do is dance and watch as Tina, Blaine, and Kurt execute a scene that at best is bad comic relief and at worst is a glossing-over of a scene from the previous episode that, had it been real, would have been tantamount to rape. They're all forced to watch as Blaine and Kurt are forced to claim "just friends" (as if they'd _ever_ be the type of people that would engage in a friends-with-benefits type of relationship) and Tina, while in a devoted relationship with Mike (who couldn't make it for the wedding), has to pretend to "hag" on Blaine, one of her best friends.

That night as soon as the shooting is done for the day Tina collapses into Blaine's arms and sobs. Kurt moves over and places a comforting hand on her shoulder as she cries into the arms of her best friend, wincing as he makes out her muffled words. "I'm sorry, Blaine, I'm _so_  sorry. I would _never_ do that in real life, you know that, right?" Kurt's heart breaks he realizes that her words are nearly exact copies of what he and Blaine promised each other back before the Break Up episode when they'd first read the script.

( _I can't ever imagine doing that to you, Kurt," Blaine had sobbed when he got the script, "I will_ never _cheat on you."_

 _"And I would never freeze you out like that, B. We promised we'd always be there for each other and we meant it."_ )

As he glances around the room, still patting Tina on the back, he sees similar despondent looks on everyone's faces. It's so hard on them all to watch all these tried and true relationships and friendships be broken and bent by the writers of the show. Even the newbies understand how exhausting it can be to pretend to be people they're not.

Kurt leans over and gives Blaine a gentle kiss on the cheek as Tina starts to calm down. "I love you, you know? I don't think I say it often enough."

"I know," Blaine whispers back, still rubbing Tina's back soothingly, "And I love you too, honey. We just have to get through this, right? And then we can be done."

Those are the words they all repeat to each other throughout the shooting of all these scenes, through scripted dialogue and painful scenes. That night, when Kurt and Blaine curl up against each other in bed for the first time in ages, through every kiss tainted with falling tears a whispered "I love you" is waiting with the knowledge that they won't have to hide for much longer. There are only eight more episodes and then they can be done with the charade.

But until then their relationship must be treated like it's a dirty little secret, something they never thought it would come to.

Something that hurts them with every breath they take.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The "tantamount to rape" scene from the last episode refers to the vapo-rub bit. That was a severe breach of boundaries and was horribly glossed over. I mean, Kurt literally has the line "Tina Cohen-Chang, did you Vapo-rape my ex-boyfriend?" and then it's never brought up again.


	2. Jesse St. James: you've got me shaking from the way you're talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the Jesse St. James plotline, helpfully suggested by nvivi. Background: Jesse St. James is one of the main writers working on the "scripted" scenes, and he is bisexual.  
> Title is from "Sarcasm" by Get Scared.
> 
> Events mentioned from the following epsiodes: 1.15, 1.22, 2.06, 2.20

_"When people hurt you over and over, think of them like sandpaper._

_They may scratch and hurt you a bit, but in the end you end up polished and they end up useless."_

_-Andy Biersack_  

_**:** _

_**::** _

_**Rachel's one of us. We're the only ones who get to humiliate her.**_

_**:** _

_**It’s the fear that’s the worst. I never know when it’s coming, I can’t concentrate, I don’t feel like I’m part of this school at all. I feel like I’m in a horror movie where this creature follows me around terrifying me, and there’s nothing that I can do about it? I mean, you…You don’t know what’s going on in this kid’s head. You don’t know what he’s capable of.** _

_**:** _

_**They can't touch me. They can't touch us. Or what we have.** _

_**::** _

_**:** _

"If you say no, you're never getting a solo in the New Directions."

In a single moment Kurt's life changes. His innocence, his hope in humanity vanishes, and as he gasps out, "No, I would never do that," and runs from Jesse St. James' office, he knows that he has destroyed his hopes of ever getting a solo in the show. It doesn't matter, however, as he would _never_  think about sleeping with someone to get ahead. Kurt is a romantic as all of his friends know, and as someone who hasn't had their first kiss yet there's no way he'd ever even think about the idea of sleeping with someone for a solo, no matter how much he wants it. It goes against everything he is, everything he plans to do with his life.

And not just that, but he's a _sophomore_ in _high school_. 

That night, he goes home and cries himself to sleep.

* * *

When the chance comes to join the Cheerios with 'Cedes, he jumps at it. After all, Jesse _had_ said that he would never get a solo in the New Directions. He'd never said anything about other groups.

* * *

Mercedes is the only one to notice just how passionate Kurt is about beating Vocal Adrenaline at Regionals. Between the whole St. Berry mess, the Finchel drama, and Quinn's upcoming due date everyone is scrambling to prepare for Regionals. Mercedes is the only person who notices the determined look on Kurt's face whenever Jesse St. James or Vocal Adrenaline is mentioned, or how angry he is when Rachel getting egged is announced. It's anger beyond "She's our friend and no one can mess with her"- it's far more intense, more _personal_ than that.

When she finally gets up the courage to ask him what's going on the day of Regionals, he doesn't respond at first, his face an emotionless mask, but eventually he says, "It's personal. I don't really want to talk about it."

Mercedes opens her mouth, about to continue questioning him anyway, but he turns his back on her and walks over to talk to Artie in the universal signal for _we're done talking now_. Mercedes' mouth slams shut and she is forced to stare at her best friend in confusion and not the smallest bit of concern. There's something seriously wrong with her boo and she's really worried.

* * *

When Karofsky is pretending to sexually harass him, when he kisses Kurt for the cameras, when he drags his finger down Kurt's chest in such a creepy, possesive way, all Kurt can think about is Jesse and his leering stares backstage before Regionals.

He feels dirty, used, and more than a bit sick. He finds himself waking up in the middle of the night after the day of that kiss and running to the restroom to puke his guts out, disgusted with how he can _still_   _feel_ Jesse's eyes raking over his body.

* * *

Finally, during the Junior Prom, the truth comes out. Well, at least it does to Blaine.

It starts off as relatively innocent, like when Jesse brushes past Kurt on his way into the gym. Blaine wouldn't have normally even taken notice of such an incident except that Kurt flinches violently against Blaine's side. Blaine frowns, as he didn't see the cause of it, and asks, "Are you okay? Did a bully push you or something? Maybe we should leave if they're messing with you..."

Kurt smiles weakly. "It's fine. I just saw a spider, that's all. But remember, if you want to leave we can. All we had to do was make an appearance, remember? All I had to do was wear the kilt. If you want to leave, we can."

Blaine slips his hand into Kurt's and smiles reassuringly at his beautiful boyfriend. "We don't have to leave, Kurt. It's your _Junior Prom_. We don't have to let the past or the stupid wardrobe department bother us. And besides, I can't wait to sing in front of the kids at your school. Except for the New Directions, they haven't seen me perform yet, remember?"

Kurt’s weak smile morphs into a grin. "I can't wait for my wonderfully talented, handsome boyfriend to make a splash at McKinley."

***

The second time something strange catches Blaine's attention is when Rachel's singing her ballad and he and Kurt are talking about all the couples and how they're all lucky to have love. When Kurt makes his "even if it's a lie" comment, Blaine can't help but think about how Karofsky and Santana got into this mess. Both of them are in horrible situations- she'll be outed as soon as this episode airs next year, and that's going to be horrible- but he can't help but think that Karofsky has the worse end of the deal. Not only will he be outed, but the majority of the country will probably look at him for the rest of his life and think "sex offender". Santana has Brittany and the Glee Club when everything falls to shit in a few months, but Karofsky has _no one_.

Blaine's well into his ever constant internal monologue about the consequences of signing the contract for this godforsaken show in order to be with Kurt and how this show has completely _screwed_ with everyone's futures when he catches a glimpse of his boyfriend's face. Kurt is staring over at the punch table where Jesse St. James is currently getting himself a drink. The look in Kurt's eyes is empty, hollow as if all emotion has been stolen from him. Blaine's never seen him like that before.

"Are you okay?" He asks, moving closer to Kurt to provide comfort.

Kurt shakes his head as if exiting a trance. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just got reminded of a bad memory." The song switches. "Now, It's time for you to get up there, right?"

Blaine nods and gives his boyfriend a grin. Kurt returns it without hesitation, but Blaine can't shake the feeling that something's off.

***

"...Kurt Hummel."

For a moment everyone freezes and the only sound is a single person clapping in the background. And then, Kurt bolts.

"Kurt! Wait, Kurt!" Blaine shouts, and runs after his boyfriend, following him down the hallway and into the restroom, where he finds Kurt sobbing over a sink.

"That's why the writers wanted the kilt," Kurt sobs, "It was all a set up to get this moment. He wanted to _humiliate_  me, and it _worked_."

Blaine's more than a little confused. He'd thought it was a prank on the sturdents' part, but now it seems like it was a bit more than that. "Wait, who wanted to humiliate you?" He asks, "And _why_?"

"Jesse St. James," Kurt says brokenly, pulling at his hair with shaking fingers, and Blaine's heart freezes. _What_? "Back during the filming for early season one, he called me into his office to discuss the possibility of a solo for me. I was excited, of course, but then he propositioned me. Sleep with him and I could have all the solos I wanted." Kurt sobs a little, and wipes his nose on the sleeve of his perfect suit jacket, the one he'd spent the past week designing. "I said no, _of course_  I said no, and ever since then he's cut me out of any chance I had for a solo in the New Directions and given it to Rachel instead. At Regionals last year he spent most of the time leering at me. That stuff with Karofsky earlier this year was probably his idea, and earlier this evening he brushed right up against me like nothing had happened. I have nightmares about him whenever I'm stressed. I'm in a loving relationship with a great guy and I still _feel_ his gaze every time I kiss you." Kurt's tone turns self-hating, and Blaine notices that his hands are curled into fists, fingernails digging into his palms. "I feel dirty, disgusting, _used_ -" 

Blaine cuts him off with a kiss, grabbing each of Kurt's hands in one his own. "I love you, Kurt Hummel, and I'm not going to let you talk about yourself like that. You are a beautiful human being and what Jesse has done and is doing is _wrong_. It's not your fault that he's a pervert and deranged. It shouldn't fall onto you to choose between sleeping with some guy or getting a solo. You were a _sophomore_ , Kurt, I'm pretty sure that was illegal. Even if it wasn't, what he did was wrong and I wish I could have been there to stop it. That does explain, however, the transfer to Dalton. It wasn't just Karofsky, was it?"

"No, it wasn’t. I would have told you, it's just that I didn't want you to think ill of me like that."

"Why would I think ill of you for someone else doing something sick? It wasn't your fault, Kurt. In fact, it was actually pretty brave of you to say no even knowing how it would affect your career."

Kurt smiles and kisses his boyfriend. 

"So what was that about loving me?" Kurt teases, and Blaine sheepishly nods.

"Of course I love you, Kurt. I wouldn't have agreed to sign that contract if I didn't."

Kurt smiles, then pulls Blaine in and kisses him passionately. "I love you too, Blaine Anderson." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesse issue will be returned to later when season three and season six get discussed. Don't worry, he's not getting off the hook like that.


	3. 4.10: it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As requested by nvivi, a time when they managed to tell someone without the producers finding out.
> 
> This scene happens post-football game watching scene. 
> 
> The cancer is real in this version, and this is Kurt's response to it.

_"I don't quite know_

_How to say_

_How I feel_

 

_Those three words_

_Are said too much_

_They're not enough..."_

_-Snow Patrol_ , Chasing Cars

_**:** _

_**::** _

_**You may have dated him, but I raised him.**_

_**:** _

_**No matter what, no matter where, even if we're not together, we're always going to be there for each other.** _

_**::** _

_**:** _

"Godammit, Blaine!" Kurt cries, grabbing Blaine's hand from the remote controller and turning him to look Kurt in the eyes, "I can’t go on living a lie like this! I can't go on letting Dad believe that you're a cheater, that we're broken up because you did something you'd never do in real life. Screw confidentiality contracts, this is the one person we shouldn't have to keep secrets from. He loves you, Blaine, even believing that awful lie, but I saw it in his eyes earlier this evening when he looked at you- there was disappointment there, and it was completely unfounded." Kurt reaches up to brush a tear out of his eye. "A-and I was willing to shoulder the guilt, to power through this until this godawful show ends," Now Kurt starts sobbing a little. "But h-he's _dying_ , Blaine, and I can't have him going to his death believing false ill of you."

Blaine scoots over and wraps Kurt in his arms, silently willing strength into his boyfriend as he calms down. Kurt's right- he himself hasn't liked the looks Burt has been sending him since the news leaked to Jacob Ben Israel, who unfortunately is _not_ under any sort of confidentiality contract, at least not one that guards negative information regarding those in the Glee Club. Burt sends him those looks when he thinks Blaine isn't looking, those glances of pure disappointment. He hates the idea of disappointing Burt more than disappointing anyone else, Blaine thinks, far more than that of disappointing his own father, who Blaine gave up on impressing a long time ago.

"Okay," he says quietly as Kurt finally starts to calm down, "We can tell him. I _want_ to tell him. But no one else can know, remember?"

Kurt nods, lips curving upward into something resembling a smile.

* * *

"Dad, we have something we need to talk about," Kurt says, sitting down at the table, and the first thing Burt notices is that his son is holding hands with Blaine.

It's not that strange, he always knew they'd get back together in the end, but..."Don't you think it's a bit too soon?" Burt asks. As much as he likes Blaine, it's a bit too soon to forgive him for such a betrayal of trust.

"Too soon for what?" Kurt asks, and Burt gestures at their clasped hands.

"Oh," Kurt says, "Dad, we need to tell you the truth. Blaine?"

Blaine takes a deep breath, and says in an unintelligible rush, looking down at his plate, "IdidntcheatonKurtitwasalltheTVshowsidea."

"What was that?" Burt asks, unable to believe his ears.

Kurt looks him straight in the eye. "He didn't cheat, Dad. But you can't tell anyone, we're under contract not to."

Burt's eyes go incredibly wide for a moment before returning back to normal sized as he smiles, nay, _grins_. "I shoulda known there was something wrong with the way Blaine asked me if he could come to New York to "make it up to you"." He directs a warm look at Blaine, who is sitting there with his mouth hanging open, gaping like a fish. "Blaine, son, you may be able to act onscreen but you can't fool me, at least not for that long. No offense to your skills or anything, but you didn't sound anything like a regretful cheater. To put it straight, you acted like you were suffering from some kinda drug withdrawal and Kurt was your next fix." Blaine blushes fiery red in embarrassment, looking down at his plate. Kurt just grins at Burt before leaning over and giving Blaine a peck on the cheek. Blaine startles at the touch before looking up at Kurt with those heart-eyes of his. Burt watches the two of them with a sense of amazement- how could he have ever been fooled into thinking that they'd ever been meant for anyone except for each other?

"You know what?" Burt says, wiping his mouth off with a napkin and standing up, enjoying the wide-eyed looks both boys are giving him, "I think I'm going to stay at a hotel tonight. I think you two could use some catching up time."

He turns to grab his keys and when he turns around, suddenly finds himself with an armful of Kurt. "Thank you, _thank you_ so much," he babbles, and Burt understands everything that he's thanking him for. For understanding, for forgiving, for letting him have time alone...okay, Burt doesn't really want to think about that more than he needs to, but he gets that his son needs time with the person he loves.

And Burt needs time alone, to be angry without spoiling Blaine and Kurt's Christmas. This is the second time the wool's been pulled over his eyes because of this TV show, and he's _furious_.

But he doesn't show it, instead just smiling at his boys and waving goodbye before slipping out to his car and heading off.


	4. Season 6: damn near cried when I got that phone call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title is from "It's My Life/ Confessions Part II" cover by the Glee Cast.

_"And as for fortune, and as for fame_

_I never invited them in_

_Though it seemed to the world they were all I desired_

 

_They are illusions_

_They are not the solutions they promised to be_

_The answer was here all the time_

_I love you and hope you love me..."_

_-Madonna_ , Don't Cry For Me Argentina

_**:** _

_**::** _

**_Maybe Brittany and I are too young to get married. I mean, after all, that's why it didn't work out with you and Blaine, right? Or maybe it didn't work out because you're a judgmental little geroniphile with a mouth like a cat's ass. Maybe Blaine got tired of hearing your shrill self-aggrandizing lecture about how you felt the two of you were at the very apex of the gay rights movement every time you so much as cooked macaroni and cheese together, or farted. Maybe Blaine didn't wanna be with someone who looks like they just removed their top row of dentures every time they smile, or someone who doesn't dress like an extra out of one of Andy Dick's more elaborate wet dreams. Maybe he grew weary of dating a breathier, more feminine Quinn Fabray. Maybe he finally got freaked out by your strange obsession with old people that causes you to skulk around nursing homes like one of those cats that can smell cancer. Maybe he got tired of watching you drape yourself on every piano you happen past to entertain exactly no one with, say, some song that Judy Garland choked on her tongue in the middle of, or some sassy old Broadway standard made famous by a dead alcoholic crump. Maybe Blaine woke up one day and said, 'You know what, I don't wanna marry a sexless self-centered baton-twirler. Maybe I need someone who knows more than three dance moves': the finger wag, the shoulder shimmy, and the one where you pretend to twirl two invisible rainbow-colored ribbons attached to your hips, so you know what, maybe that's why it didn't work out, maybe it has nothing to do with me and Brittany, maybe it's just that you are utterly, utterly, intolerable._**

**_:_ **

**_Maybe that has something to do with it. Maybe it's our job as young, hot progressives to educate older, scary farts._ **

**_::_ **

**_:_ **

 

They're sitting on the sofa at Kurt's house reading the script for Sesson 6 (there is no longer any "reality" to their reality show) together when Blaine blanches and jumps up.

"Oh Merlin, I think I'm going to be sick," Blaine says and runs to bathroom. He's a little faster of a reader than Kurt so Kurt finishes reading the page to see what Blaine's talking about. The words on the page make him sick as well, but he drops the script without finishing the rest and goes after Blaine. He finds his fiancé in the restroom leaning over the toilet, puking.

"Oh, honey," he croons, kneeling down to rub Blaine's back. "Are you okay?"

Blaine tears off some toilet paper and wipes his mouth with it, then flushes it all down the toilet. He turns to face Kurt. "No, I'm not. They want me to pretend to be with _Karofsky_ , the guy who was forced to sexually assault you on camera in front of the entire U.S.," Kurt swallows dryly at the memory of having to do it over and over to get the 'perfect shot'. "I can't do that, not ever. I can barely stand to be around him, knowing what he did to you, even if it was under duress _and_ even after his apology, much less let him touch one of us like _that_ , like he _c_ _ares_. It would be like if they wanted one of us to be with Jesse on screen. I can't stand the idea- it horrifies me."

Kurt has no idea what to say. He agrees, obviously, but he has no proper response. It made him physically ill back during filming for season four just thinking about Blaine cheating on him with a non-existent "Eli" and gave him nightmares during filming with Karofsky during season two, so he can understand Blaine's reluctance to have to pretend to like Karofsky. So instead he just rubs Blaine's back comfortingly and helps him back to the sofa. There they get settled, Kurt's arm wrapped around Blaine’s back and the dreaded script propped up between them, and manage to get through the next few episodes. When Kurt notices Blaine beginning to cry quietly over the scene where Dalton burns down he leans over and kisses him, then hands him a tissue.

Then Kurt's phone rings. It's Santana.

"Yo, Hummel. You know that whole rant of mine in Jagged Little Tapestry isn't true, right? You're a great performer and a great guy, and the hobbit wouldn't ever dare break your heart like that since he knows I'll go all Lima Heights on his sorry ass if he does."

Kurt gives a slight smile. "Thanks, Santana, though fortunately we won't ever need your help." he says. Blaine leans over, wiping the tears from his eyes.

Kurt puts an arm around him, and Blaine smiles weakly. "Yeah, Santana, Kurt and I aren't breaking up, not _ever_. Engaged and soulmates, remember? Glad to know you're defending Kurt, though." Then he pauses, and he gets a look of determination on his face. "However, if you _ever_  say something like that speech to my fiance, just remember that I founded the Fight Club at Dalton for good reason."

Kurt chuckles at the look on his fiance's face as Santana replies, "Gotcha, Frodo," with a slightly teasing lilt to her voice, "Well, I gotta go. Berry's on the other line and she's also pretty pissed. We all are, actually. I mean, not only did those hijo de putas fuck with our lives mercilessly but some of the stuff in here is downright _offensive_. I mean, no offense, Hummel, but my little rant to you is only the tip of the garbage heap. Your marriage break up? The double wedding _in a barn?_ Karofsky dating your "soulmate" after being your tormentor for years? The" She makes a small gagging sound here, "'Little Bear' thing? The fake elevator scene and the stalkerish things Sue does? _Bieste_ **,**  the woman who for years fought to have people regard her as a woman despite liking sports and being what others thought of as unfeminine, is _trans_?

"And then there's the stuff that doesn't even make sense logistically, never mind if it's rude (which it is). Blaine failing out of NYADA _during the summer?_  Samchel, when Sam was _this close_  to moving in with Mercedes? The Warblers getting a coach when Hummel complained about the Council all junior year? And I **cannot**  see _The_ Carmen Tibedeaux conducting a "work-study" program that involves you running a glee program in the middle of Nowheresville, _Ohio_."

"And don't forget Jesse St. James marrying Rachel, that handsy douchebag." Kurt's been flipping through the script, skimming for the events Santana's mentioning as she rants, and he's just hit the final episode. For a moment Kurt forgets that Blaine and he are the only ones who know about Jesse and the words pop out of Kurt's mouth before he can stop them, he's so angry. He claps a hand over his mouth as soon as the words exit, shooting a worried look at Blaine as he hopes Satana won't read too far into his statement.

Unfortunately, Santana’s never done what other people want. "What do you mean, _handsy_  douchebag, Kurt?" She asks, an edge to her voice that even though Kurt knows isn't directed at him personally still kind of scares him, "Is there something he's done that I don't know about?"

Kurt's mouth goes dry as Blaine reaches forward and squeezes his hand reassuringly. He hasn't ever told anyone except for Blaine, and years of keeping Jesse's unwanted advances a secret have solidified into a habit that's hard to break. "Back during season One, he called me into his office to talk about potential solos for the show and he...propositioned me."

A moment passes, and when Santana speaks her voice is ice cold. "So you turned him down, and the L'Oréal-haired bastard's been taking revenge all these years, hasn't he? That son of a _bitch_. Kurt," Kurt's eyes go wide. She's never used his first name in conversation before, "I swear I will _end_  him."

Kurt laughs hollowly. "Blaine already has first dibs as soon as the show ends, sorry Santana."

"Oh, but don't worry, Santana," Blaine says with a smile that so closely resembles one of Santana’s _I'm going to murder a bitch_  faces it kind of frightens Kurt, "I'll let you help. I'm planning on recruiting my old friend Jeff from Dalton and seeing if Puck wants to join in, just for old times sake."

Santana snorts. "Hummel, he's alright. You should keep him 'round."

"So glad to hear about your endorsement of my marriage, Santana," Kurt says sarcastically, "But tell me the truth. Do I want to know what you guys are planning?"

"Unless you want to hear me discuss with your fiance the many ways I'm planning to rip off Jesse St. James' balls then no, you don't."

"No, please discuss in front of me, Santana. Even if it's only hypothetical, it feels good when you describe _exactly_ how you would destroy him."

"What do you mean, _hypothetical_?" Santana demands as Blaine turns slightly to stare Kurt down.

"Honey," Kurt says to Blaine first, "You still can't glare properly. You're too adorable," and gives him a peck on the cheek before answering Santana. "We can't do anything until the show is over, Santana, and even if you did Jesse would just get you arrested. I _really_ don't want one of my best friends and fiance arrested before any of us get married, whether Blaine and I or you and whoever you choose, whether it's Brit or not. However, after you guys have your revenge discussion I do have an idea on how to fuck with the writers and when I say fuck with I mean they're going down harder than Vocal Adrenaline did Senior year."

Kurt can practically _hear_ Santana’s smile through the phone. "Tell me more, Hummel."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha, cliffhanger. We'll return to this plotline later. But for now, hang in for the next chapter- it's going to be about the New Directions watching Never Been Kissed for the first time. The release schedule for the reality show in comparison to their real lives is a bit strange, but it links up to "Never Been Kissed" being aired a little before the events of "On My Way" happen.


	5. 4.04, 4.06: nobody said it was easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title is from "The Scientist" by Coldplay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know I said I was going to do NBK next, but I found this scene buried in my notes and decided to polish it up a bit and post it.
> 
>  
> 
> Sorry it's so short- it's just to tide you guys over until I have NBK ready!

_"We are young_

_Heartache to heartache we stand_

_No promises_

_No demands_

_Love is a battlefield..."_

_-Pat Benatar_ , Love Is A Battlefield

_**:** _

_**::** _

_**I kind of feel like I'm gonna die.** _

_**:** _

_**Do you remember when you started dating Santana and I started dating Kurt back before everyone was so busy and far away and things were so much simpler? We had so much more hope and innocence.**_

_**:** _

_**Grease is a romance and how can I play any of the scenes if I have ruined mine? I don't think I would be able to play the truth of Danny Zuko. Thank you for letting me audition but I.. I just can't.** _

_**::** _

_**:** _

"What are you going to tell me? That it wasn't serious? That you only made out?" Just the idea of Blaine being with someone else, _making out_  with someone else, makes Kurt _sick_. "That you didn't care about him?"

"I _didn't_ care." Blaine can't sound more sincere than he does now, when he's telling Kurt that he doesn't care about anyone else. Kurt can see the regret and pleading in his boyfriend's eyes, the slight tremble to his lower lip. All Kurt wants to do is lean forward and kiss it away, but he can't. He has to get through this horror first. He can't decide what's worse- filming those scenes with Karofsky so long ago, or filming these past few episodes. The Scientist performance, when he had to stand stock still next to Blaine and sing when all he wanted to do was curl up next to Blaine on one of their beds and cry; the Don't Speak Montage, when at least Kurt had been able to cry; and last but not least, the break up itself, the "confession" that had Kurt wishing more than anything so far (even more than everything that had happened involving Jesse) that he'd never signed that stupid contract. It has to be these scenes, now, that are the harder of the two times- at least he had Blaine by his side back then, instead of hidden in the shadows like now.

"Do you think any of that matters to me? Relationships are about trust. And I can't trust you anymore." With every word Kurt speaks it's like he's driving a dagger into his own heart, and he hopes his acting skills have improved enough over his time on this show that he isn't trembling as he speaks. Across from him (only a few feet, but still too far) Blaine stands, eyes wide and understanding. Still, every word that passes over Kurt's lips feels like a betrayal even if he knows that Blaine understands why he has to say them. It's like he's taking a knife and repeatedly plunging it into Blaine's heart.

"I was stupid to come back. Rachel's right. T-this," Kurt stumbles slightly on this word, trying to keep it together until the end of the scene as he tightens his grip around his own arms, "Isn't home anymore."

And then he turns and walks away, leaving Blaine behind him. All he can hear is the sound of his own footsteps echoing in his ears, and every _click_ that takes him toward Rachel makes him want to _vomit_.


	6. 5.01: we are lovers through and through and through (we made it through the storm)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title from "Real Love" by Mary J Blige. 
> 
> I try writing fluff instead of angst for once. I have no idea if I succeeded.

_"Thinking no one can hear you at all_

_You wake with the morning sunlight_

_To find fortune that is smiling on you_

 

_Don't let your heart be filled with sorrow_

_For all you know, tomorrow_

_The dream that you wish will come true..."_

_-Disney_ , A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes

_**:** _

_**::** _

_**You didn't run, you didn't lie** _

_**You know I wanted just to hold you** _

_**And had you gone, you knew in time** _

_**We'd meet again for I had told you** _

_**You were meant to be near me** _

_**::** _

_**:** _

"What's the story with this New York guy?" Blaine asks, trying to be casual but failing so hard. His excitement is plain and completely contagious. They are moments away from ending this charade, at least filming-wise.

Kurt smiles, heart light for the first time since "the Break Up", and shrugs. "There is no story." Seriously he had no idea how the kids at NYADA had thought there had been anything between them. Adam was a great friend and all, but in the end they were just that- _friends_ \- not only because Kurt wasn't interested (he preferred his Prince Charmings short with insanely curly hair and a tendency to jump on furniture at all the right moments and _courage_  all wrapped in a package named Blaine Devon Anderson), but because he was taken and refused to date anyone, even for the show. He would not be with any man other than Blaine. "He was nice and people liked the idea of us as a couple, but it never got serious."

Now for the painful, untrue part. Kurt cringes internally before turning to Blaine and gesturing toward him."All right, let me break it down for you. All right, the last time we tried dating, and I was in New York and you were here, you _cheated_  on me." The lie still stabs Kurt in the heart even though he's used to it by now.

"All right, unacceptable," Blaine returns, "We've been through this. I thought you were done with me. I thought it was over. I thought I was completely out of the picture in your life."

"Look at me in the eyes when I say this:" Blaine stares directly at him, every feature set, and Kurt swallows at the intensity in his boyfriend's gaze. "I'm being beyond serious. I will never, ever _ever_  cheat on you again." Kurt can hear the emotion Blaine is trying to hold back, but enough of it leaks out that it makes the caricature he's portraying seem so much more realistic.

The next line is so stupid, a horrible joke, but Kurt pulls it off as best as he can, a certain wry humor twisted into the joke, "I'm gonna need you to sign one of those non-cheating contracts. You know, you can get one on Oprah's web site."

"I will sign whatever you want," Blaine says earnestly, and then comes the line Kurt’s been wanting to hear since last September, "Just please say that you and I can be boyfriends again."

Kurt’s natural response is _of course, I need you like I need air_ , but he pushes it down in favor of the action prepared for him- giving Blaine an incredulous stare.

"What?" Blaine asks.

"I don't know if relationships actually work," Kurt replies, all the while knowing that yes, they damn well do if this sneaking around with Blaine has taught him anything it's that some relationships are meant to not only work but to survive _anything_ , "I mean, weren't Bethenny and Jason supposed to be forever?"

"For every Bethenny and Jason, there is a Will and a Jada, and a-" Blaine jabs at the ground to make the point, and Kurt can't help but smile a little, "A Kurt and a Goldie. Come on, can we at least just give it a try?" Blaine pleads.

"But I'm Goldie, of course," Kurt adds quickly, lips curling up into a smile.

"Of course you are," Blaine says firmly.

Kurt nods, and the smile grows into a full-blown grin.

"Okay, I-I can't believe we're gonna do this again," Kurt stammers out, all while his heart is shouting _FINALLY!_

"I was hoping you would say yes," Blaine says, jumping up, "Actually I was kind of planning on it, which I why I sort of, um, put something together to try to convince you to stay a little longer."

"Uh, no, no, no, that's not gonna happen, okay? I'm not sitting down and listening to you sing to me anymore." Kurt's grin morphs into a sly smile.

"Okay," Blaine acquiesces, sitting back down next to Kurt.

"Which is why I prepared something," Kurt says, and screw the plot holes this line creates in the script because he's been wanting to be the one doing the serenading for _years_ and since Blackbird doesn't count (he was singing to Pavarotti, and Blaine’s scripted "realization" was a fortunate casualty) this is his first opportunity to do so. He pulls out a whistle, blows on it, and then they launch into a musical number.

***

Sweat is dripping down his back, making his shirt cling to his back, and the sun is glaring down in Blaine's eyes but Blaine doesn't care. He is out here in the McKinley courtyard dancing and singing with Kurt, and he doesn't have to hide anymore. His faithfulness and love no longer have to be treated like a dirty scandal, as if they are something somehow worse than the idea of him cheating on his lover. He can finally hold hands with Kurt outside of closed rooms and sets, kiss him without fearing they'll break their confidentiality contracts, and hug him without sneaking around, his stomach filled with a sick feeling like they're conducting an affair.

He grins as he jumps up onto the table across from Kurt, belting the last words of the song and pulling his sunglasses off his face before their lips meet. He grins into the kiss, wrapping his hand around Kurt's waist, and just relishes the feeling of freedom to show his boyfriend love.


	7. 4x04: what if i said i would break your heart?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title is from "You Should Know Where I'm Coming From" by Banks.
> 
> Santana POV.

_"Nobody said it was easy_

_Oh it's such a shame for us to part_

_Nobody said it was easy_

_No one ever said it would be so hard_

_I'm going back to the start..."_

_-Coldplay,_ The Scientist

_**:** _

_**::** _

_**You don't think that I've been lonely? You don't think that I've had temptations? But I didn't act on it because I knew what it meant. It meant something horrible and awful.** _

_**"** _

_**You know I will always love you the most.** _

_**:** _

_**Let's just do the mature thing here. This is not an official break up. But let's just be honest that long distance relationships are almost impossible to maintain because both people are rarely getting what they need, especially at our age.** _

_**:** _

_**Six months ago, did you ever think that things would be like this?** _

_**::** _

_**:** _

After the filming ends, Santana walks out of the auditorium between Kurt and Blaine without any of them saying goodbye to the other people in the room.

Kurt whispers, "Stay strong, Satan, it's only a little further until we're out of here," and Blaine squeezes her hand, reassuring in a way she can't quite put into words. She can actually hear Blaine crying, oh so quietly, and Kurt’s tears sparkle against his cheeks in the dim lighting of the auditorium. She herself is trying not to cry, to just stay strong like she always has, but Brit has taken something within her heart and warped it beyond repair, has cracked it deeper than anyone else ever has. It is worse than coming out to her abuela, worse than the hate mail and the shunning- because through all of that she had her Brit-Brit, and now all she has is the hand beside her, someone who has also gone through shit and shares her pain. She remembers confronting Karofsky back during junior year, operating on a script she didn't know existed. She can remember the nervousness in Kurt and Blaine's eyes as Karofsky walked away and the relief when she turned back around again and said it was more fun to do it together. They had been the only ones to come and talk to her after Karofsky’s suicide attempt, had talked to her and Brit about what they'd done and how close they'd gotten to that snapping point.

_("That could have been me, if I hadn't met Kurt that summer before the show began."_

_"And that could have been me during junior year, if I hadn't been with Blaine.")_

They'd helped her through Lady week, with their song and their conversation, and had helped her pick out her dress to prom. She'd helped them in return, had made sure no bullies slushied them senior year and had tongue-lashed any jock or Cheerio who dared insult them. They'd been her confidantes, her _friends,_  if she dared to call them that, and they are all she has left without Brit. She knows she will need Kurt’s support back in New York, will need a shoulder to cry on when she misses Brit too much...

But she knows that it will also work both ways, that Kurt's heart will break over and over as he waits to be able to be back with Blaine, that Blaine will suffer without anyone who truly understands. This hand around hers is not just an attempt to comfort her- it's a search for comfort for Blaine as well.

But as much as it will hurt Kurt and Blaine to have to pretend to be at odds because of the cheating (she's not downplaying their pain at all, she can barely imagine having to paint her herself as a cheater in her relationship with Brit, the only person she's loved enough to stay with), she knows that they will always stay by each other. They fought tooth and claw to stay together against the writers' wishes, eventually giving into the script for filming but not relinquishing control of their real lives. She once thought she and Brittany would be like that, soulmates against all odds sort of thing, but it turns out that Brittany wasn't as invested in their relationship as she is. Brittany had agreed to the script, the separation, only a few days after they got it, opposed to Santana, who wanted to fight it every step of the way. With Brittany's compliance went Santana's spirit. She'd thought that they'd stay together for a long time, maybe even forever, and Brittany had walked all over that with just a single words of affirmation.

And so when she walks out between Kurt and Blaine without another glance back at the girl who broke her heart, she is crying silent tears for the first time since she was outed a year ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NBK is coming, don't worry, inspiration just struck and I couldn't let go!


	8. 2.06, 3.13: i know the truth and it haunts me (i learned it a little too late)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title is from "I Know the Truth" by Elton John and Janet Jackson.
> 
> Okay, basis of this is that "scripting" started for the New Directions early season three. Not everything, of course, but a lot. What the rest of the New Directions don't realize, however, is that this isn't Kurt and Blaine's first time with a script.

_"Sometimes I feel like I can't run, I can't crawl_

_And sometimes I feel like I ain't nothing at all_

_Life is a journey where you stumble and fall_

_But I'm okay_

_When I lie down in your arms..."_

_-Nico & Vinz_, In Your Arms

**_:_ **

**_::_ **

**_You, like everyone else at this school, are too quick to let homophobia slide. And your lessons plans are boring._ **

**_:_ **

**_Well, he's not coming out anytime soon._ **

**_:_ **

**_You're not alone._ **

**_::_ **

**_:_ **

_Kurt knows these next few lines will hurt._

_"It's just that up until today, I had never been kissed," He says, all the while remembering the sweet, romantic kiss Blaine had shared with him on their second date last summer and every kiss they'd shared since, including the pretty spectacular make out session they'd had last night. He pauses, feeling the weight of Blaine's hand land on his shoulder, and injects the second line. "At least not one that counted."_ He _knows the line is referring to Brittany-_ Blaine _knows the line is referring to Brittany- but it still doesn't feel like any less of a betrayal. Kurt wonders, in the long seconds between his line and Blaine's, how many more times he'll have to say lines like this._

_Blaine squeezes his shoulder reassuringly before standing up. "Here, let me take you to lunch," He says with a slight smile, and Kurt tries not to grin at the almost-pick up line._

_***_

They've just finished filming the scenes for the episode "Heart" the day "Never Been Kissed" is set to air. Kurt's gotten permission to take Blaine over to his house, where the New Directions have insisted on gathering to watch Blaine's debut episode. Most of the time they all just watch them at home alone (or like the couples do, together), but whenever someone new has their debut they all get together. The last group watched episode was the first episode of season two- Sam's first episode.

Blaine looks over at Kurt and finds him worrying at his bottom lip, brow creased in thought. "What's wrong, honey?" He asks, concerned.

"They don't know that we're not together in that episode, B. How do you think they're going to react?"

Blaine raises an eyebrow. "I'm not sure. I mean, they'll probably understand if we tell them that we were scripted. I'm honestly more worried about what they'll think about my first performance on 'Glee'. How do you think they'll like it?"

Kurt laughs, and Blaine's relieved to see his boyfriend's grin. "They'll love it. The heart eyes in that scene, though- they'll probably laugh about that. We aren't particularly subtle, are we?"

"Nope," Blaine says, then leans in and kisses his boyfriend.

***

The scene changes, and now the screen shows Kurt in the hallway by his locker.

Kurt sucks in a deep breath as Karofsky appears onscreen and he stands up. "I-I'm sorry," he says, "But I can't do this," and then runs out of the room.

Blaine gets up, a worried and slightly queasy look on his face. "You guys watch it without us. I'll go make sure he's okay." Then he runs out after Kurt. The New Directions sit in their seats, bewildered, but turn back to the screen and watch as Kurt confronts Karofsky and chases him into the locker room.

And then the room explodes with combined horror as Karofsky forces a kiss on Kurt.

***

"Honey, are you okay?" Blaine asks gently, pushing open the bathroom door. He finds Kurt sitting against the wall of the bathroom, knees curled up to his chest and crying quietly. Blaine kneels down next to Kurt and wraps his arms around his boyfriend, gently pulling his sobbing form into his chest. "It's going to be alright, Kurt," He whispers.

"They're going to know now," Kurt sobs, "They're all going to know what I let Karofsky do. They're going to think that I'm dirty and used and a cheater and-"

Blaine presses their foreheads together and touches Kurt's lips with his finger, shushing his boyfriend gently. "It was just acting, Kurt. They all understand, even if this season is the first one they've had to deal with the scripts. All you have to do is go in there and tell them the truth-" Blaine notices the terrified look on Kurt's face and quickly adds, "But not about Jesse, if you don't want to," anxiously watching his boyfriend's face relax before continuing, "Just about the script. They'll understand. They'll get it once you explain that both of us were scripted far before they were, that it was all acting." He gently brushes their foreheads together and cuddles Kurt against him as Kurt begins to calm down, hysteria abating.

There's a quiet knock at the door and when Blaine says, "Come in," Mercedes gently pushes it open and enters. She takes in the tear tracks on her boo's face and Blaine's tight grip around him. They both look up at her with wide eyes (well, in Blaine’s case _eye_ ), and she's never seen either of them look this vulnerable before. In an instant she realizes in a way that the show and her own personal slushie-ing have never truly shown her that Kurt and Blaine have both gone through far more than either deserved to. Her heart twists. If Blaine's confession in the episode a few minutes ago was true, he was roughed up pretty badly before they even met him and Kurt has obviously been suffering more than he has let on to her if any of the emotion in tonight's episode is true. She can't imagine how hard it must have been to kiss Karofsky when Kurt was with Blaine, whether it was scripted or not (though Mercedes has a pretty good idea of which it was).

"Why didn't you tell us when that stuff first happened?" Mercedes asks, and she's genuinely hurt. "You're my boo- we tell each other everything."

"It was all in the script," Kurt says quietly, almost brokenly, looking down at his feet, and Mercedes can't help but see how small he looks tucked into Blaine's arms, so different than the commanding diva that she sees on an everyday basis. She has to wonder just how much he's hidden from her over the past two years, just how much of their interactions had been fact or fiction. "In the contract- we had to do whatever was scripted of us, as long as we weren't put into physical danger, but you already knew that, of course. But Blaine and I- we've been scripted since that episode." Kurt gives a dry, hollow laugh, and at first Mercedes is relieved to see the dry humor of her friend slipping back into place, but then Kurt continues and she just feels _sick_. "Of course we have- I don't get to kiss him onscreen until episode 16." Kurt looks at her, eyes miserable and face slumped, and Mercedes tries not to cry. "Finn and Rachel get to kiss all the time, Brittany and Artie got tons of time making out, they showed Mr. Schue and Mrs. Pillsbury's kiss, they're even planning on showing the kiss from when Quinn cheated on Sam with Finn, and Blaine and I couldn't even _hold hands_. Do you know how it feels, 'Cedes, to know that America would rather see me in lumberjack clothing and making out with a girl just to improve her kissing record than being with the boy I love? That they'd rather see heterosexual couples break up and cheat on each other than see a committed, loving gay relationship? The entire next nine episodes after Never Been Kissed are scripted. You guys didn't realize that Blaine and I weren't technically together onscreen until Regionals last year, right?" Mercedes gapes. _That_  long?

"Yeah, Mercedes," Blaine says in a quiet, almost scary voice, "And don't forget that before we could even be acknowledged as being in a sexual relationship like you guys I had to portrayed as an alcoholic predator who tried to force his boyfriend into sex before he was ready while Quinn could get pregnant and lie about the father of her baby with barely any changes. Oh, and this show has such a problem with heteronormative terms that they've forced Kurt to exaggerate his effeminate side because they want to be able to clearly define the "girl" in our relationship."

 _(_ _"Tights? Really,_ tights _?" Kurt said to himself with a bitter laugh, staring at the Shakespearean outfit draped over his sewing machine that wardrobe had given him to perform in tomorrow, "Okay, that's just offensive."_

_Blaine was furious, though. "They can't treat you like this, Kurt. You're just as masculine as any other guy in the club, just as talented and fit to play that part. They can't just push you around like this!"_

_Kurt shook his head. "But they can, remember? We all signed that stupid contract. They need a feminine person in this relationship, and besides, Jesse's been doing this the whole time. This is just another way to degrade me_.")

Mercedes feels sick. Just last week Puck was teasing Kurt and Blaine about just that- who was the "girl" is the relationship. It had been good-intentioned, of course, and actually partially genuine curiosity, but it still must have hurt. After all, the whole point of how Kurt and Blaine got together was because _neither_ of them were girls. And though this is the first she's heard anything about how their first time is going to be shown on the show, hearing that Blaine can in any way be seen as a sexual predator makes her feel ill. Blaine is one of the sweetest, nicest guys she's ever met and the fact that some people will be equating him with what Karofsky has just done makes her angry. No, _furious._

"I'm sorry," she says, and it's echoed by Finn, who's shown up behind her shoulder. She turns to look back at him, shocked, to find him with tears in his eyes. She realizes with a pang to her heart that no one in Kurt's family probably knew the truth about Karofsky until tonight.

"I'm sorry, Kurt," Finn says, and Mercedes realizes he's feeling guilty. "All that was going on and I was just the world's biggest douchebag. I was supposed to be your brother and I didn't measure up."

Kurt scoffs. "We've been over this before, Finn. I forgive you guys-"

"No!" Finn shouts, and Kurt’s mouth snaps shut in shock. "We don't deserve to be forgiven! You were suffering- you were _assaulted_ \- and I was too focused on myself to notice. We _all_ were. Blaine was the only one to realize anything was wrong. I feel horrible, Kurt, and so does everyone else."

"If it makes you feel any better, Finn," Kurt says, not wanting to see the awful self-loathing look on Finn's face for a moment longer, "It was all scripted. The kiss- everything until Regionals between Blaine and I- it was all an act."

Finn's jaw dropped. Apparently this possibility hadn't occurred to him yet. Kurt stands up and Blaine follows. "I think I'm ready to tell them the truth," Kurt says quietly. 

Blaine leans in and kisses him on the lips, then leans back. "Courage."

Kurt smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's how Karofsky's bullies found out he was gay.


	9. 2.02, 2.16, 3.04, 5.01: thanks for the memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this story needs some fluff. Here are a few of the more happy/fluffy moments in this 'verse.
> 
> Title is from a song of the same name by Fall Out Boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, a few people were aware of the "scripting" in Season Two, though not the extent at which it was pressing on Kurt and Blaine: Mr. Schue in the Xmas episode and Rachel in Blame It On The Alcohol (though of course the Warblers knew all along and tried to support their friends).

_"When you're happy like a fool_

_Let it take you over_

_When everything is out_

_You gotta take it in_

_Oh this has gotta be the good life_

_This has gotta be the good life_

_This could really be a good life, good life..."_

_-OneRepublic,_ Good Life

 

_**:** _

_**::** _

_**Don't let your own recklessness blind you to the fact that Britney Spears is a genius pop culture provocateur and a gateway drug to every out of control impulse ever created.** _

_**:** _

_**Kurt, there is a moment when you say to yourself, “Oh, there you are. I’ve been looking for you forever.” Watching you do blackbird this week…that was a moment for me. About you. You moved me, Kurt. And this duet would just be an excuse to spend more time with you.** _

_**:** _

_**I just wanted to acknowledge that we've all had a really rough week, what with Mercedes leaving. So I prepared a little something to show what Mr. Shue just said- that the magic is still here. So this is to remind us of what Glee is all about, which is just fun.** _

_**::** _

_**:** _

"100 bucks to whichever pair can pull off the dirtiest moves," Mercedes says to Santana and Puck, holding out a hand to shake.

Puck snorts. "You and Mr. First-Boyfriend over there beat Puckzilla and Satan? Ha. I'll take that bet." Then he reaches out a shakes hands.

Kurt smirks as Puck walks away. "We're so going to when Britney week. Well, at least this bet, 'Cedes."

Mercedes grins back.

***

"Pay up, Puckerman," Kurt smirks as he holds out a hand to Puck.

Puck grumbles as he pulls five crumpled ten dollar bills put of his back pocket. "This all your fault, Lopez."

"Really, hijo de puta?" Santana grouses, peeling a fifty out of her wallet and handing it over to Mercedes while Puck hands his to Kurt, "This is all your fault." She begrudgingly raises one prefectly sculpted eyebrow at Kurt. "Though, Lady Hummel, that boob-hat thing was pretty impressive for a vanilla like you."

Kurt grins. "Pleasure doing business with you two. Now, if you all don't mind, I'm going to take these vanilla lips and go take my boyfriend out on a date with my hard-won cash." He tips his hat to Santana and Mercedes, spins around on his heel, and leaves.

* * *

Kurt is home for the weekend, working on his homework and scrolling through long strands of texts filling him in on gossip at McKinley (apparently everyone's already forgotten about Rachel and Blaine's duet/kiss at the former's party and are now focused on someone throwing up at the Anti Alcohol assembly) when the tune _Teenage Dream_ (sung by Blaine, of course) fills the room. Kurt grabs his phone from his desk and clicks accept.

"Yeah?" He asks.

" _Finally_!" Blaine crows excitedly, and Kurt raises an eyebrow. 

"Finally what?" He asks.

"Open up your newest email from the writers and read the attachment." Blaine sounds like he can't physically contain his excitement.

"Okay, okay, give me a minute," Kurt says, and clicks open a new tab. He clicks into his email and opens the script for the week. "I'm here, what next?"

"Scroll down to the "Blackbird" speech and you'll see!" Blaine practically squeals, and Kurt grins at his boyfriend's enthusiasm. He scrolls down and...

"Oh. My. Gaga."

"Yep!"

Kurt can't believe his eyes. "We're kissing. On national television."

"Yes!"

"I can _not_ wait for Monday."

* * *

"So this is to remind us of what Glee is all about, which is just fun."

Kurt has to laugh as his boyfriend starts up Last Friday Night (that boy's obsession with Katy Perry is _serious_ ) and pulls everyone into it, boys and girls alike. Blaine's infectious nature is enough to get everyone forgetting about scripts and Mercedes' being forced to leave and the world for just a moment, and Kurt falls more in love with him every moment he sings.

Then Blaine jumps up in front of him and pulls him into the chaos, and Kurt can do nothing but dance with his boyfriend, sing along, and grin.

* * *

And Blaine's standing there on the step below Kurt holding out a ring, and he's grinning with all his heart, and all Kurt can say is "Yes."  _Of course_ he says yes- as if there is anything else he can say after all they've gone through together.

And then they kiss, in front of five rival show choirs, their friends, and the world, and everything is right again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a bit short- it's just a bit of fluff to tide you over until I can write Season Three and Sebastian, where a bunch of shit is about to go down.


	10. Sebastian: for spreading wide his tyranny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episodes referenced: 3.05, 3.08, 3.11, 3.14
> 
> Title is from "Don Quixote" by Cervantes.  
> I was planning on making Sebastian a remotely likeable character and make Jesse suffer some character development, but then I was like, well, that's just no fun. And besides, Sebastian is a delightful character to villainize, and there were just so many unutilized gems buried in season three that I couldn't resist.

_"They can rip you, bring you down, down to their size_

_But they will never get to the heart you hold inside_

_Mm, mm, mm_

_You're not the only one so let them criticize_

_You're untouchable when you realize_

_Ooh-oh-oh..."_

_-Little Mix_ , Change Your Life

_**:** _

_**::** _

_**Let's get a few things straight. Blaine's too good for you, New Directions is a joke, and one of us has a hard luck case of the 'gay face', and it ain't me. Odds are by the end of the school year, I'll have Blaine and a Nationals trophy, and you'll have khakis and a Lima Bean apron, and that gay face.** _

_**:** _

_**Let's just say that McKinley is where my heart is.** _

_**:** _

_**It's all fun and games... until it's not.** _

_**::** _

_**:** _

As soon as the director yells "CUT!" after the "outside Scandals" scene Blaine sobers instantly and buries his face in Kurt's shoulder.

"That was horrible, much worse than I ever thought it would be. Oh god, Kurt, if I ever actually do something like that promise me you'll dump me on the spot."

Kurt can't respond, doesn't know _how_  to respond, so he just wraps his arms around his boyfriend and comforts him.

* * *

"I'll be right back," Blaine says, dropping a kiss on Kurt's cheek before sprinting off to the bathroom. Kurt watches him go with a faint smile, then turns to head to the water fountain- performing takes a lot out of a guy- but he's stopped by the appearance of Sebastian.

"Hey, gay face," Sebastian walks up to Kurt and says with a smirk, "I just wanted to let you know that I have every solo in the Warblers this season and all I have to do is hook up with a hot man every once in a while. Too bad you didn't take his offer up, right? Blaine's going to leave you eventually when he realizes you're more girl than man and you'll have no back up plan so you'll be stuck alone forever." Then he smirks and leaves.

Kurt stops breathing. Blaine returns a few moments later and finds Kurt frozen in the same shocked position, staring blankly at the air. He looks at Kurt, confusion evident on his face. "Kurt, what's up?" He asks.

Kurt's head snaps up to look at his boyfriend, eyes wide and terrified. His words are trapped in his throat as he stares at Blaine, Sebastian's words pounding through his head. Blaine frowns and reaches for Kurt's hand. Kurt flinches away slightly, and Blaine's eyes go wide. "Are you okay, Kurt?" He asks, concerned.

Kurt swallows hard. "You're not leaving me, right?" He asks, vulnerability prominent in his voice.

Blaine reaches forward and takes Kurt’s hand without resistance this time. "Never," he says fervently, "Why would you _ever_ think such a thing?"

Kurt licks his dry lips, turning away slightly but not releasing his hold on Blaine's hand. "Sebastian said some things. About you...and about Jesse." Kurt laughs hollowly. "Apparently he took him up on that offer. Explains the solos, right?"

Blaine blinks at him, surprised, but then runs his thumb along Kurt's. "Okay, Kurt," he says, "Leaving aside the fact that Sebastian's the world's biggest douchebag for now, why would you ever let him let you think that? We've been through too much together- he's not getting in between that."

"I know, Blaine, it's just, well..." Kurt tries to swallow and continue even with the lump in his throat, "You're, well, you, and you're my first boyfriend and I guess for a moment I was irrationally worried that you'd come to your senses and realize that I'm not worth the trouble of the show."

Blaine stares at Kurt for a minute, and Kurt tries not to glance away under the steadiness of his gaze. After what feels like an eternity Blaine says, "Wow. First off, I'm so sorry, Kurt, if I ever made you feel that way. And secondly, I went through all that stuff last year _just_  to be with you. I love you, remember? We're f-forever." He stumbles a bit on the word, cheeks flushing red, but he leans in, kisses Kurt, and gets pulled in by the lapels of his jacket.

"That was fantastic singing out there," Kurt says once they part, a smirk on his lips. "Can't help but love the lyrics of that first song."

Blaine grins and sings quietly, " _Got my own mind, gonna make my own decisions, if it has to do with my life, I wanna be the one in control_ \- is that what you meant?"

Kurt giggles. "That _was_  great thinking on Quinn's part. Blaming it on Shelby in order to get that song into the show? Genius."

* * *

When Blaine jumps in front of Kurt, there's suddenly a smack  of sound and then he crumples to the ground, clutching at his eyes and screaming in pain. It takes exactly one second for Kurt to take in the red ice crystals covering his boyfriend's face and one more to launch himself at Sebastian. 

"You bastard!" He shouts, and punches him in the face. Sebastian's eyes are wide, and everyone on the set is frozen in place. Whatever the Warblers knew about this attack and whatever the director thought Kurt was going to react apparently don't line up with reality but Kurt can't bring himself to care. "You fucking bastard, how could you? We've never done anything to you!" He screams and punches Sebastian again. It seems like no one is going to stop him, is going to prevent him from laying into Sebastian-

"Kurt," he hears through the buzzing in his ears and Kurt locks onto the familiar sound, turning to find Blaine sitting up with Santana's help, hand clutched over his right eye but the other focused directly on Kurt. Kurt immediately heads to Blaine's side, nodding at Santana who releases her arm from around his waist and allowing Kurt to slide his in and help Blaine stand up.

"Honey, I'm so sorry," Kurt says, tears gathering in his eyes at Blaine's hiss of pain, "You shouldn't have taken that hit."

"It's fine," Blaine protests, "Just...hospital?"

Kurt nods and carefully steers Blaine toward the car, Santana and Finn at his side. As he helps Blaine into the car he locks eyes with Santana. " _End_ him," he says, and she nods, a vicious glint in her eyes. 

***

Santana shows up at Blaine's house the next day with a tape in hand and fury twisting her red-painted lips. Blaine’s mom Pam lets her in, kind of scared by how silent the fierce Latina girl is being. She'd met Santana a few times since Blaine had first met Kurt and the girl's acid tongue is legendary. For her to be this quiet, silent rage palpable, scares Mrs. Anderson in a way she can't quite articulate. "They're upstairs," she says, and Santana nods before bounding up the stairs to Blaine's room. She opens the door without knocking and finds Kurt sitting in a chair next to Blaine's bed reading Vogue aloud, their hands intertwined between them. They look up when she saunters in, Kurt pausing in reading.

Santana plops her purse down next to Blaine's bed and sits down on the edge of the bed, crossing her red-stiletto-heeled legs. "They refuse to get rid of Sebastian," She says without preface, tone cutting. She pulls a stapled packet of paper out of her purse and tosses it at Kurt. "Here's the script for the end of the episode. I confronted the smarmy meerkat at Dalton and totally kicked his bony ass in a duel of _Smooth Criminal_ and got a taped confession out of him saying that he used _rock salt_ in that slushie but they won't let me use it. They gave me _that_ when I asked what they were going to do about it and said that they don't want a show that "promotes violent retaliation". So guess what, Hummel? You're going to get to go into school tomorrow and tell everyone that we're 'taking the high road'."

"Fuck," Kurt swears as he scans the page, face contorting with anger, and Blaine looks just as angry. Normally Blaine is one of the calmest people in room, but Santana fully understands why he's been pushed out of his "dapper gentleman" persona. The slushie attack would count as assault according any judge ever and Sebastian's not going to have to suffer any repercussions because of it. Blaine might _lose an eye_ and Sebastian's getting off scot-free. "Fuck" is not nearly strong enough of a reaction.

* * *

Kurt has  _had it_ with Sebastian Smythe and his tendency to try and ruin everything Kurt cares about. As soon as he turns to walk away after dumping his threat about humiliating Finn Kurt stands up abruptly, violently pushing back his chair.

"Sebastian," he says coolly, folding his arms across his chest as the meerkat turns back around to face him, "I may have a "gay face" and be effeminate, but at least I don't have to fuck my way ahead in life." Sebastian glares at him, but he doesn't stop. "I have a boyfriend instead of a crowd of faceless nobodies and I know how to get my revenge without being a bastard about it. I have friends who like being around me and I help others instead of tearing them down. You are  _nothing_ compared to me and my friends, and we will  _kick your asses_ at Regionals." He turns to Rachel, ignoring Sebastian. "Let's go, Rachel. We need to practice."


	11. 4.07: tears are heard within the harp I touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title is by Petrarch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that there was a five week hiatus between the Break Up and Role Your Were Born To Play when going into this.

_"But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams_

_his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream_

_his wings are clipped and his feet are tied_

_so he opens his throat to sing..."_

_-Maya Angelou,_ Caged Bird

_**:** _

_**::** _

_**EVERYTHING in this room reminds me of him! We were a dynamic duo in here! Kurt was my anchor, Finn. And now that he's gone, I just... I feel like I'm floating.**_

_**:** _

_**And why would I ever leave McKinley?** _

_**Why would you stay? I heard you only went there to be with Kurt, right? In fact, I hear they even call you Blaine Warbler.** _

_**:**_

_**And I went over to his place because I felt like Kurt was moving on with his life and I wasn't a part of it. And I got to thinking that maybe Kurt and I weren't meant for each other, that we weren't supposed to spend the rest of our lives together. But the horrible thing is, right after I did it, I knew we were.** _

_**:** _

_**Now, I don't want to see a Dalton legend like you sidelined in his senior year. I want you on the winning side, here with us. You know what goes great with a new Dalton blazer? An impromptu song.**_  

_**::** _

_**:** _

Blaine, just like most of the rest of the participants in this farce of a show, is an actor (and a good one at that), but he's also just a teenager. He's hormonal and in love and under a lot of pressure, and he's bound to crack at some point.

***

He's made it through the past weeks on Skype sessions and Sam and Tina's support. Without either of those things he would have shattered long ago. Kurt's visit was painful because of the "conversation" they had in the hallway after the play, but afterward Kurt running back down the hallway, tackling him with a hug, and kissing him breathless made up for most of that. He's managed to make it through the past few days just on the happiness of that one kiss.

But now? Watching helplessly as his beloved Dalton is taken over by some army boy and turned into a martial dictatorship?

Yeah, that fucking _hurts_.

He manages to improv his way through a really stupid conversation with Sebastian and Hunter that has him nearly laughing and going "Cliché much?" but then Hunter brings up Kurt and his good spirit flies away instantly. He really wants to punch Jacob Ben Israel in the mouth for spreading the false news about Kurt and his breakup to the rest of the world. He knows he's going to have to live with the false stigma of being a cheater for the rest of his life and he wishes that he'd just gotten a reprieve at least until the episode is aired.

He manages to make it through the rest of the conversation without breaking down, but when they bring out the jacket he takes one look at it and shatters. He stumbles back to the wall behind him and sobs. These are his friends, the guys he hangs out with on weekends and that came to visit him in the hospital after he was slushied, crying and promising that they'd had no idea what Sebastian was planning. He and Kurt had gone on double dates with Jeff and Nick, and Thad (along with Wes and David, who were no longer here) had welcomed him with open arms when he'd arrived here, a trembling freshman who was too scared to look anyone in the eye. They'd helped him serenade Kurt, had been his best friends (save Kurt) for years, and though they were competitors last year had continued to support him in everything he did.

Knowing that they think he's a cheater, that he could ever throw away his relationship with Kurt like that, breaks his heart. He hears fabric drop to the ground and footsteps outside his tears as well as the director shouting "CUT!", but he doesn't quite pay mind to it until he finds himself drawn into someone's embrace. "I don't know what's going on, Blaine," Nick says, "But I hate seeing you cry." Blaine can't respond; he can only sob into Nick's shoulder and try to calm down. Nick pats him soothingly on the back.

Soon enough Blaine’s breathing returns to normal and he leans back, wiping at his eyes. "Kurt and I- we're still together," he says, "And it just really hurts when you guys all believe that I cheated on him. Dalton is supposed to be my safe haven, you guys my best friends even if we're competitors. How can you be that if you steal my team's Nationals trophy?"

Jeff and Nick look shocked, as do everyone besides Sebastian and Hunter. "Someone stole your National trophy?"

Blaine frowns. "Yeah, you guys did, in order to get me back on the team. Hunter said that he stole the trophy to get me back to Dalton. The New Directions would get the trophy back as soon as I rejoined you guys."

"Hunter told us that you were thinking of quitting New Directions because they were being mean to you because of how you'd treated Kurt, which we never should have believed even if Hunter hadn't tried to blackmail you into joining us again. You would _never_ cheat on Kurt, and we should have known that. We're so sorry, man, but if you don't mind telling us why does everyone think you did? I mean, even that reporter guy who goes to your school should have heard about you singing that song last year- what was it again,  _It's Not Right But It's Okay?"_ _  
_

Blaine looks at him helplessly- none of the Warblers know about the scripting during Season Three- they only know what happened during the season Kurt was with them. He doesn't even know if any of them are under a confidentiality contract this season. He doesn't know  _anything,_ has no idea how to explain, how to tell them that he's being forced to act out his worst nightmares and wonder if in another universe (if these circumstances had been real) whether he might have actually cheated. It's terrifying, the self doubt that has been preying on him.

"Are any of you guys under contract?" He asks, and though he gets looks of confusion from the Warblers he doesn't recognize Jeff, Nick, Thad, and Trent all nod. He releases the breath he was holding in as the knot in his chest loosens just a little. "Okay, everyone else needs to leave." Though clearly confused,  everyone except for the four that nodded, Hunter, and Sebastian leave the room. Blaine takes a deep breath before beginning. 

"First off, I'm what we in the New Directions call "scripted". That means that most of our plot is written up and then we have to react somewhat "in character" to whatever they come up with even if we hate the ideas that they come up with. I cried when "confessing" to cheating because that's how I felt about it, but most of the time I can do nothing but act out what I'm told to act out. Sometimes it's not scripted, but I'm supposed to improv based on the backstory I'm given, like today." Blaine looks down at his hands, not wanting to see their faces as he finishes talking. "I try, but knowing that you guys actually believed the lies Jacob Ben Israel told broke my heart."

He chances a glance upward to find Nick and Jeff looking at him helplessly, Trent with tears in eyes, and Thad with a look of frustration on his face. Thad turns to Hunter and Sebastian angrily. "Did you two know this when you asked us to welcome Blaine back? Did you two steal from the New Directions to blackmail Blaine back when you _knew_ that Blaine is still with Kurt? Sebastian, is this part of another disgusting scheme of yours? Can't you just give it a _break_ , man?"

Sebastian raises an eyebrow. "I stopped liking him awhile ago. His boyfriend's has a gay-face and a stick up his ass- it's kind of off-putting to see them together."

Trent glares at Sebastian. "Take that back."

Sebastian smirks. "Don't have to."

Jeff shakes his head in disgust and turns to Blaine. "Take your trophy back to the New Directions, Blaine. Hopefully you won't blame us all for this."

Hunter interrupts before Blaine can reply. "The writers said we have to have a music number whether he decides to stay or not."

"I'm not transferring," Blaine says, "but I can't take the trophy back yet. My friend Sam and I are going to come back later- that was the plan all along. The writers said to just come here, go along with whatever you guys wanted to do, and then come back to McKinley to just finish the rest of the planned script."

Thad looks about ready to explode with fury, but he turns to Hunter anyway. "Well, let's get on with that song before I punch your face in."

"What's the song?" Blaine asks as Nick heads over to the door to let the rest of the Warblers in.

" _Dark Side_ by Kelly Clarkson," Trent answers promptly.

* * *

"Hello, my name's Andrew Marrows, and I'm going to be playing Eli." The man sticks out a hand for Blaine to shake as they stand outside of the bedroom that Blaine is supposed to have had sex with this man in. His world seems to narrow to a single point- this man's offered hand- and his breathing gets shallow. Up until this point him cheating on Kurt was a very painful idea, yes, but still just an idea.  Blaine finds himself unable to move, to even breathe properly, as he stares. The very idea of having sex with this man brings about a wave of nausea and anxiety that overwhelms everything else.

"Whoa, man, you okay?" Andrew asks after a few moments, and Blaine's head snaps up.

"Don't touch me," he hisses, and he doesn't recognize his own voice, low and painful. Andrew's eyes go wide at his reaction, but Blaine can't bring himself to care. He knows it isn't Andrew's fault, that he isn't the problem here, but Blaine hasn't had an outlet and nowe one has been given to him. Now the idea of cheating has form, has taken a face in the person of Andrew Marrows. He looks about nineteen, just a couple years older than Blaine, and kind-of good looking, though nowhere near Kurt, but Blaine knows he will never be able to see his face again without feeling sick to his stomach.

* * *

"One last run. That's all I'm asking for. Give me one more day."

Then the scene ends, and Blaine's legs give out. He slides down to the ground, back against the locker, until his knees are against his chest. He buries his face in them, sobbing in emotional agony, and Sam wraps his arms around his best friend in a gesture of protection and comfort. It's not much, but it's all Sam can give him as his world falls apart.


	12. 3.05, 4.11, 4.15: (come what may) I will love you until my dying day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from "Come What May" from Moulin Rouge.

_"Inside my heart is breaking_

_My make-up may be flaking_

_But my smile still stays on._

_Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance_

_Another heartache, another failed romance_

_On and on, does anybody know what we are living for?"_

_-Queen_ , The Show Must Go On

_**:** _

_**::** _

_**As your friend, I support your strange aversion to fun. But as a director, I'm concerned.** _

_**:** _

_**I desperately want to be over him. Really, I do.**_

_**:** _

_**Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place** _

_**Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace** _

_**Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste** _

_**It all revolves around you** _

_**::** _

_**:** _

Kendra Giardi, one of the writers, walks up to Artie before they're about to film Rachel and Blaine's first practice. "Artie, we want you to somehow bring up the fact that Rachel and Blaine are virgins in this scene. I don't care how you do it, but just do it. They lack the passion needed for this scene, or something like that."

Artie shrugs. "Sure, dude," He says. He'd been planning on saying something about the lack of passion to Blaine and Rachel anyway.

*

When he brings it up at the end of practice, Blaine stammers and blushes because they've been making love since Blame It On The Alcohol and they haven't told anyone. He stammers out some kind of an excuse for the cameras.

 *

Blaine sidles up to Kurt at his locker, cheeks red. "Artie really thinks we're virgins. I mean, he told me that the writers told him to ask but he _actually believed_ it." When Kurt raises an eyebrow. "I went to practice and he actually _asked_ Rachel and I if we were virgins because apparently we 'lacked passion' but  _Kurt,"_ Blaine pouted, "afterward he actually came up to me and encouraged me to do something about that 'lack of passion' thing. Do the two of us  _really_ seem like virgins?"

Kurt smirks at him. "He seems to be taking this whole "Kurt and Blaine are romantics" thing to the next level, doesn't he?"

Blaine smiles dopily at him for a moment. "But we are romantics, aren't we?"

"Yeah, we are."

 *

Santana walks up to them the next day. "Tonight, my house. New Directions and Troubletones party. Be there or else," She orders and then struts away.

Kurt raises an eyebrow to Blaine. "You have any idea what that was about?" He asks, and Blaine shrugs.

"No clue."

*

The next night Santana drags everyone into a game of Never Have I Ever, complete with shots of alcohol.

"Never have I ever kissed a girl," Rachel says, looking directly at Blaine with an almost Santana-like gleam in her eyes.

Kurt and Blaine roll their eyes at each other and then knock back a shot, joining all the boys as well as Santana and Brittany. Puck wolf-whistled at the two of them. "So you two aren't such pristine gay boys after all?" He says.

Kurt rolls his eyes. "It was an experiment."

"A drunken accident," Blaine says in defense of himself.

"I got a song out of it!" Rachel chimes in, and Blaine groans, but Finn interrupts with his turn.

"Never have I ever kissed a boy."

Kurt and Blaine are the first to knock back shots, followed by all the girls as well as, to everyone else's surprise, a grinning Puck and a blushing Sam.

Mercedes levels a cool look at Sam. "So, mister...?"

"It's a long story." 

*

A few turns later everyone's taken a shot or many when Sugar looks around the circle and grins wolfishly. "Never have I ever had sex," she says triumphantly.

Most of them (excluding Rachel, Mercedes, Sam, and Rory) immediately knock back a shot. Kurt winks at Blaine and Blaine grins back, then they knock back a shot as well. The New Directions stare incredulously while Santana smirks, Brittany grins at her dolphins, and Mercedes claps. Kurt raises an eyebrow, smirking a little. "What?" He asks innocently.

"B-but-" Artie sputters, "You said yesterday that-"

Blaine shakes his head, and despite the blush reddening his cheeks he smiles. "I never denied it when you asked behind the camera, Artie. You just assumed. You should know by now that not everything that happens on camera is the truth. And yeah, we waited- probably longer than any of you did- but we’re teenaged boys. Yeah, we’re romantics and so it _means_  something, and yes, we took the decision seriously, but we are definitely _not_  virgins."

Finn, however, has his face screwed up and his eyes shut tight. "I did _not_ need to know that, bro."

* * *

"Okay, what the actual fuck? I have a crush on _you_?" Blaine asks as he reads next week's script. He understands the writers' want to make him move on, but a predatory crush on Sam? That's going too far.

(Then again, what on this show couldn't be described by the phrase "going too far"?)

He's over at Sam's house, laying out on the floor with a bowl of popcorn between him and Sam. He's paging through the script while Sam finishes his homework. Sam had procrastinated, deciding to read the script earlier instead of doing homework so now while he works on the project for History Blaine gets to kick back and read.

"Yeah," Sam says, "That's just wrong. You're with Kurt."

Blaine chokes back a laugh. "Not only that, Sam, but you're just not my type. No offense, man."

Sam laughs. "None taken." Then he sobers. "Keep reading- there's more I think you won't like."

A few minutes later Blaine's mouth drops open, the taste of bile rising in his mouth. "There's a Sadie Hawkins dance?" He asks, voice strangled, "And _Tina_ is asking me to it?"

“Yeah, man,” Sam says, “I know you don’t like Sadie Hawkins dances 'cause of what happened before you came on the show with us, and that thing with Tina...that’s just not right.”

“It doesn’t even make sense. I mean, even if she isn’t with Mike in the show and I'm not with Kurt she _definitely_  knows I’m gay. Like, 100%, gold star, gay-as-the-fourth-of-July gay. Why would she think that she’s “found love” in me?”

"I have no idea, man, but I'm really sorry anyway."

* * *

Blaine sometimes wonders what the fans think was his character's reasoning. Yeah, they all hate him for cheating on Kurt, they've made that pretty obvious, but he wonders if most of them have ever thought about the show Blaine's motivations. Yeah, Blaine would never do such a thing, but the Blaine the show's created just might have given the right circumstances. Blaine sometimes finds himself wondering what might have, in another universe, happened to him to cause such a radical action.

(This is about the point where he often starts thinking he's gone insane, but still. It's an interesting way to pass the time when he's trying to fall asleep.)

He's seen some of the fan fics and been scarred for life (they know that Kurt and he are _real people-_ their minds must be _seriously_ twisted), but they have brought up a couple of interesting theories as to why the Blaine on the show would have cheated. Even if the fans haven't even seen the episodes yet, the show never explained it that well anyway. 

*

Blaine lands in New York, nearly bursting with excitement that he and Kurt have been given the coveted _Come What May_ dream-scene duet. He knows that Kurt isn't able to meet him at the airport as it's much too public to be seen together, but he's okay with that for now as he'll get to spend the weekend cuddling with Kurt in the loft. Rachel and Santana have agreed to stay out of the loft except for filming scenes this weekend in order to give them their privacy. He's excited to be here, and he almost skips down the terminal.

It's actually kind of funny, in a way, how despite the fact that he's currently one of America's most despised celebrity cheaters no one even notices him. He's wearing his glasses and has the gel washed out of his hair, his curls springing free, and so no one even pays him a second glance.

He makes his way closer to the exit of the airport. He's close to the entrance when he stops dead in his tracks, finding himself face-to-face with the man Kurt sent him a picture of in preparation for this event. He'd readied himself, of course, but it still hits hard that this hat-wearing, blond man slouching against the wall in front of him gets to sit next to his boyfriend and hold his hand everyday while Blaine has to live states away, waiting weeks between visits. He swallows hard as Adam looks him over and offers out a hand. "I'm Adam Crawford," the man says politely, and Blaine catches the British accent that Kurt mentioned in his emails lamenting the fact that he had to pretend to move on on-screen. "You must be Blaine, then. I'm sorry, Kurt only gets to talk about you truthfully in the evenings away from the cameras." Adam gives him a crooked smile. "I don't know much about you but I do know that he loves you. You're lucky."

Blaine nods, readjusting his carry-on from where it's slipping off of his shoulder. "I know," he says, smiling. He wants to say more, but Adam seems to realize that he can't in public.

"Taxi's waiting outside," he says, standing up straight, "We'll go straight for the loft. On the way there we can have a proper chat."

Blaine nods and follows Adam out the exit. On the way into the taxi he realizes that neither of them have been recognized- Adam because he hasn't been shown on the show yet, and Blaine because of his half-disguise. If Kurt had come he would have been recognized immediately, but just Blaine and this almost-stranger? They can slip through a crowd like a couple of nobodies. It's a wonderful feeling, anonymity.

They get into the taxi, Adam letting Blaine go first. Once in Blaine says, "You're right about me being lucky. Kurt's the love of my life. I couldn't have found a better man."

“He’s a nice guy,” Adam replies. “Now, tell me the truth. I marathoned _Glee_  when I was asked to be on the show. I was never a big fan of it, but it’s okay. Well, at least up until “Mash-off”. Now, I want to know how much of that was true. Kurt’s told me that a lot of it was scripted, but I want to know whether or not you actually acted that way. No offense, man, but you were really a douche.”

Blaine chuckles dryly. “Almost none of it was true. Anything until Original Song didn’t happen in real life. Anything with Sebastian was scripted (well, except for our disgust), and the bar scene didn’t happen. That final scene in the First Time- yeah, that was private, but it was probably one of the few scenes in early season three that I liked filming besides the musical performances. Prom Queen was horrible, but it happened. A lot of Season Three, especially the stuff that was offensive to one or another of us, was scripted as well. Does that answer your question?"

Adam smiles and nods. "You sound like a great guy, Blaine. I'm glad Kurt found you."

* 

When they pull up next to the loft Blaine has to restrain himself from running up to the door and banging it open, but instead he climbs out of the car and calmly walks to the door. He grounds his trembling fists against his sides, calming himself before knocking on the door. It’s been so stressful the past few weeks, and Kurt showing up last week for Mr. Schue’s wedding passed so fast and went so horribly that Blaine doesn’t count it. This weekend is just going to be them performing a love song. There won’t be any faking of animosity or denying of feelings (at least not between the two of them), and then Blaine can just spend two days with Kurt until he has to head back to Lima for his own scenes.

Blaine reaches up and knocks on the door. He hears a couple of seconds of footsteps pounding across the loft floor before Kurt swings the door open. “Blaine!” he cries with a grin, leaning forward to sweep Blaine into a hug, and Blaine smiles as he wraps his arms around Kurt in return. As always, it feels like coming home.

***

Lying silently in Rachel's room while his boyfriend tells another man he wants to move on with him is one of the hardest things Blaine has ever done. He had originally planned to just plug in his earbuds and drown the sounds out until Kurt came and got him, but for some insane reason he'd decided to listen so that he could prepare himself.

Stupidest mistake ever.

Now he's laying here frozen, staring at the ceiling above him and crying silently while pretending that this doesn't hurt, that every word Kurt is saying out there isn't a knife to the heart.

(It's not working.)

It takes a few takes but then the voices reciting line after horrible line die down and Kurt gently pushes back the curtain. "Blaine?" He says quietly, almost a whisper. "You okay?"

"I don't think so," Blaine says, his voice cracking slightly, and the brutal honesty kind of helps.

Kurt pads across the floor and slips into bed next to Blaine. He wraps his arms around Blaine and pulls Blaine toward him. Blaine cries into Kurt's shoulder, warm and safe in Kurt's arms, and lets himself let go of everything. It hurts so _fucking_ much to listen and know that in a year this is what the world will see, that in a week this is what NYADA will know of. That Kurt Hummel has moved on from his nerdy, cheating, unworthy high school boyfriend and onto a suave, collected college man.

" _Never knew I could feel like this,"_ Kurt sings quietly into Blaine's curls, " _Like I've never seen the sky before..."_

Blaine picks up the song with a broken voice, " _Want to vanish inside your kiss."_  Then, a bit stronger, _"Every day I love you more and more."_

Kurt smiles against Blaine's curls. " _Seasons may change..._ "

And they continue the song like that, singing quietly and trading off every few lines until they get to the ones they sing together.

_"And there's no mountain too high, no river too wide_

_Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side_

_Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide_

_But I love you_

_(I love you)_

_Until the end of time_

_(Until the end of time)_

_Come what may,_

_Come what may,_

_I will love you_

_I will love you..."_

By the end of the song Blaine's tears have stopped falling and he curls into Kurt's side, their voices trailing off. Kurt's arms stay tight around Blaine, seeking the same comfort from Blaine that Blaine is seeking from Kurt.

"I love you, Kurt," Blaine whispers.

"I love you too," Kurt whispers.


	13. season 2: i still think that we're in love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title is from "I Still Think" by Darren Criss.
> 
> Originally posted 9/29/15 but updated with more scenes.

" _My life is a..._

_series of actors changing places,_

_except there's no back stage_

_and there's no place for me..."_

_-Darren Criss_ , I Still Think

_**:** _

_**::** _

_**COURAGE** _

_**:** _

_**People have been celebrating Valentine's Day for centuries, and call me a hopeless romantic, but it's my favorite holiday. I think there's something really great about a day where you're encouraged to just lay it all on the line and say to somebody: "I'm in love with you!"** _

_**:** _

_**Wow, I really am clueless. I don't know what I'm doing. The truth is, I've never really been anyone's boyfriend.** _

_**:** _

_**Yep. I'm gay. 100% gay. Thanks so much for clearing that up, Rachel.** _

_**::** _

_**:** _

It's a couple of weeks before the school year begins when the first episode airs. Blaine and Kurt have been together for about a month and are quite happy with where they are.

"You ready for this?" Kurt asks as he brings popcorn over to the couch where they're set to watch the Pilot episode.

"Ready to watch my boyfriend become more famous than me?" he smiles, opening his arms for Kurt to come and cuddle with him, "You bet."

*

The first episode's ratings are through the roof. After the second follows and it's just as popular the cameras start coming back to Lima.

* * *

Burt has a heart attack and Kurt's world collapses. Over the next few days everyone is running about, praying and pulling together songs, and Kurt is just looking for someone to tell him that he's not alone.

*

Blaine and Kurt are watching TV a few days after his dad's heart attack, fruitlessly trying to distract themselves, when Kurt finally cracks.

Blaine watches as Kurt's defenses fall and tears begin falling down his face. _Legally Blonde_ plays faintly in the background but Blaine only has eyes for Kurt.

"Please," Kurt chokes out, wrapping his arms around himself tightly, "Just hold me, Blaine."

Blaine pulls Kurt into his embrace and Kurt sobs into his shoulder. "Dad might die any day now and none of them have asked me how I want to support him. I just want someone to hold me and tell me that I'm alright, that if he dies I won't be alone."

Blaine has nothing he can say, so instead he does the only thing he can think of: he sings. He sings a song that he wrote when he first met Kurt, when he visited the Hummels for his first Friday dinner after their third date and realized that if he was going to be Kurt's boyfriend that he would have a lot of preparation to do. It was a song he wrote when Kurt called him, crying, after his first slushie of the school year, the moment Blaine realized that Kurt was the one for him and that he would do anything to make Kurt feel better.

_I've been alone_

_Surrounded by darkness_

_I've seen how heartless_

_The world can be_

 

_I've seen you crying_

_You felt like it's hopeless_

_I'll always do my best_

_To make you see_

 

_Baby, you're not alone_

_'Cause you're here with me_

_And nothing's ever gonna bring us down_

_'Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you_

_And you know it's true_

_It don't matter what'll come to be_

_Our love is all we need to make it through..._

 

_Now I know it ain't easy_

_But it ain't hard trying_

_Everytime I see you smiling_

_And I feel you so close to me..._

_And you tell me:_

 

_Baby, you're not alone_

_'Cause you're here with me_

_And nothing's ever gonna bring us down_

_'Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you_

_And you know it's true_

_It don't matter what'll come to be_

_Our love is all we need to make it through..._

 

_I still have trouble_

_I trip and stumble_

_Trying to make sense of things sometimes..._

 

_I look for reasons_

_But I don't need 'em_

_All I need is to look in your eyes_

_And I realize..._

 

_Baby, I'm not alone_

_'Cause you're here with me_

_And nothing's ever gonna take us down_

_'Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you_

_And you know it's true_

_It don't matter what'll come to be_

_Our love is all we need to make it through..._

 

_Oh, 'cause you're here with me_

_And nothing's ever gonna bring us down_

_Cause nothing, nothing, nothing_

_Can keep me from lovin' you_

_And you know it's true_

_It don't matter what'll come to be_

 

_You know our love is all we need_

_Our love is all we need_

_To make it through..._

"Thank you," Kurt breathes out, and presses a kiss to Blaine’s cheek.

* * *

"Excuse me, I'm new here."

Throughout this entire dialogue Kurt is a knot of contrasting emotions. On one hand he's ecstatic that he's finally getting to be on camera with Blaine but on the other it hurts that he can't  _be_ with him on camera. He has to pretend that he doesn't know Blaine, that he's just the first gay kid Kurt has ever met (though he was in truth, Kurt knows plenty of gay kids now. Nick, Jeff, Dave- there are plenty more than he ever could have dreamed of as a sophomore) when in reality he's _so_ much more. 

He can't help but notice that even though Blaine's a fantastic actor there are some parts of him that slip through- the childish glee in his eyes as he talks about the Warblers, the genuine way he talks to the "new kid". Grabbing Kurt's hand and pulling him down the hallway is a personal indulgence that the writers, thankfully, let them have, but the wink before his performance is all Blaine.

Kurt can practically see what the Warblers call Blaine's 'heart-eyes' as the Warblers sing  _Teenage Dream._ He himself can't resist grinning as he watches Blaine serenade him, watches him work so well with the rest of the Warblers. Kurt knows them- they're Blaine's best friends, he's hung out with them before. He listens to all of Blaine's stories about them with interest- he knows about how Nick and Jeff finally admitted that they liked each other last week, about Wes' obsession with his gavel, and Thad's following of fashion on his weekends outside of Dalton. He's friends with them, too, and he's hung out with them before.

It's different, somehow, to watch them perform today than any other time before. Something about the way that everyone seems to be in tip-top form but still exuding that enthusiasm and enjoyment that Kurt has come to associate with the Warblers- that makes them even more wonderful. He wonders what it would be like for a kid who had actually gone through the things he's gone through to walk in here and see them all like this, so carefree and accepting.  

*

"You are nothing but a scared little boy who can't handle how extraordinarily ordinary you are!"

_I'm sorry._

Dave Karofsky's lips taste nothing like Blaine's. They taste like hamburgers and chapstick and it's  _horrible._ Kurt knows that Dave doesn't want to do this, that when he quietly came out to Kurt he hadn't planned on acting out a deranged idea of Jesse St. James because a crew member happened to overhear.

He leans back, slams his fist against the locker, and Kurt can see the tears in his eyes that match the ones in his own. Then Dave runs out and Kurt can only stare nauseously after him, resisting the urge to puke.

He feels dirty, used, and more than a bit sick. He finds himself waking up in the middle of the night and running to the restroom to puke his guts out, disgusted with how he can still feel Jesse's eyes raking over his body. It isn't Dave that haunts his dreams- no, it is Jesse's face, leering at him and stealing the kisses that Kurt only wants to share with Blaine.

*

Kurt knows these next few lines will hurt.

"It's just that up until today, I had never been kissed," He says, all the while remembering the sweet, romantic kiss Blaine had shared with him on their second date last summer and every kiss they'd shared since, including the pretty spectacular make out session they'd had last night. He pauses, feeling the weight of Blaine's hand land on his shoulder, and injects the second line. "At least not one that counted." _He_ knows the line is referring to Brittany- _Blaine_ knows the line is referring to Brittany- but it still doesn't feel like any less of a betrayal. Kurt wonders, in the long seconds between his line and Blaine's, how many more times he'll have to say lines like this.

Blaine squeezes his shoulder reassuringly before standing up. "Here, let me take you to lunch," He says with a slight smile, and Kurt tries not to grin at the almost-pick up line.

* * *

It's the night Ballad is scheduled to air and Kurt can't stay at his house. He can't be in the same house as Finn when he's about to be humiliated by the writers blowing a 30-second infatuation into a season-long (increasingly creepy) crush.

"Please let watch this at your house," He says to Blaine as they head out to his car after filming the Breadstix scene with Mercedes, "I can't bear seeing them react."

"Of course," Blaine says, giving Kurt a small smile before reaching forward and turning on the radio. As they pulled out onto the highway, Beyonce blasting on the radio, Kurt sends a group text to the New Directions. 

**As Finn already knows, the Finn thing isn't real. That was the one thing they pressured me on that season.**

**-Kurt**

Then he turns off phone, and resolves not to think about them until tomorrow.

* * *

"Okay, Blaine, so here's the thing," Kurt says, taking Blaine's hand across their customary table at the Lima Bean, "I managed to get the producers to allow you as my date to the wedding, but they said you had to sit in the back during filmed shots and next to Rachel otherwise. It's completely ruining my whole plan for my Dad's wedding, as I was so excited to invite you but since the producers are assholes I can't. I mean, it's not fair that Finn gets to bring his girlfriend and dance with her but I can't even be seen with my boyfriend on-camera, not even with the excuse that you're there as my friend."

"It's okay," Blaine says with a smile, but Kurt can still see the hurt in his eyes, "As long as I'm there with you I'm happy. I can't wait to see what you've managed to put together in the past few days."

*

After the  _Just the Way You Are_  dance finishes and the cameras turn off Kurt pulls Blaine out onto the dance floor, a brilliant smile on his face. "So," Blaine says Artie begins singing  _Chasing Cars,_  "How did you like the dance?"

"It was fantastic. I didn't realize Finn was planning that. I mean, it was totally unexpected but just amazing. Never in a million years would I have thought that _Finn Hudson_  would willing dance with a boy, especially _on camera_."

"Finn's changed since I met him. Maybe finding out that having a boyfriend doesn't make you a bad person made him think differently."

Kurt nods before shifting the two of them to the side a little in order to avoid his Dad and Carole dancing past them. Carole winks at him over his dad's shoulder and he bites his lip to keep from laughing.

Blaine raises an eyebrow. "What was that for?"

"Nothing," Kurt says, but he can't help but let out a giggle. When he sees his boyfriend smiling at him, he amends, "Carole winked at us." 

Blaine grins, but then shifts into a frown. "So, on a less (or more) happy topic, you're transferring to Dalton, which means more time together. Do you know who you're rooming with?"

Kurt's smile dims a little but remains there. "I'm rooming with Nick."

Blaine grins. "Really? That's just down the hall from me."

Kurt raises an eyebrow. "I know that, silly. I've been to Dalton before, remember?"

Blaine laughs. "Oh, right. I got so excited I forgot. Also, before I forget, Wes says that as a countertenor _and_ a former member of a glee club you'll automatically have a spot on the Warblers. You'll have to do an audition, but it'll just be a formality."

Kurt's smile drops away completely. "The writers want me to go with Rachel's suggestion of _Don't Cry For Me Argentina_ for my Warbler audition."

Blaine frowns. "The Council doesn't like Broadway."

Kurt nods. "I know that, but Rachel wouldn't listen, and all the writers want is for her to 'help' me. I don't want to impose on the Warblers by asking for a second audition off camera, and they already know me so it's not like I'm giving a bad first impression anyway. I guess I'm not that upset, but still..."

Blaine nods. "I know. Wes and David would probably be okay with giving you a second audition, but you don't want the trouble. And the Warblers  _do_ care about you. Nick and Jeff have been asking about a double date for a while now and Thad, as you know, constantly asks about your fashion choices."

"I'm glad at least one of your friends has good taste." Kurt says with a giggle.

"Hey!" Blaine protests, but it lacks any heat. He leans his head on Kurt's shoulder as they spin around. "I'm sorry you have to leave McKinley," he says quietly, and Kurt sobers.

"It's...well, not necessarily fantastic, but I think it will be good for me. The... _kiss_ with Karofsky may have been scripted but the rest of the bullying wasn't." 

* * *

When the football team wins Kurt grabs Blaine by the lapels of his coat and pulls him in for a kiss. No one notices, too focused on McKinley winning the football  game, but for a moment Kurt and Blaine are wrapped up in their own little world. Blaine's smiling when they break apart, but Kurt's not.

"What's the matter?" Blaine asks, concerned.

"Do you think anyone saw?" Kurt asks worriedly. "The writers said we couldn't do this when they could be filming."

"It doesn't matter," Blaine says, and leans in for another kiss. Kurt meets his lips expectantly and when they're done he's smiling as well.

"You're right," he says.

* * *

"Okay," Kurt says as they stand outside the Gap, waiting for the camera crew to get set up, "So I know I'm going to be upset later but right now I find this hilarious. Honey, you're so uncomfortable."

Blaine _is_ uncomfortable. He's about to serenade someone who isn't his boyfriend with a song rife with sexual innuendo- of course he's upset about it. And Kurt definitely knows this, so Blaine knows that his boyfriend is just joking around to make him feel better. Strangely, it works a little.

"This is going to be so embarrassing."

"Yep," Kurt agrees cheerfully, and Blaine groans.

" _Really_ , Kurt?"

*

Kurt really wishes that now that he's put his heart for the world to see on camera that Blaine would be allowed to reciprocate, but that's not to be. Blaine turns away slightly, not quite looking Kurt in the eye as he says the next few lines. Kurt is suddenly flung back to _Never Been Kissed_  when he himself was the one who denied their relationship. He's now realizing that it's just as hard, maybe even more, to see his boyfriend deny their relationship as to do it himself.

"Wow, I really am clueless. I don't know what I'm doing." Blaine says, and Kurt's heart clenches. "The truth is, I've never really been anyone's boyfriend."

They exchange a few more heartbreaking lines until they finally reach the two lines in this scene that Kurt actually likes.

"So, it's just like "When Harry Met Sally," but I get to play Meg Ryan," he says.

"Deal," Blaine says automatically and pauses. Then his eyebrows scrunch in feigned (but still adorable) confusion and he continues, "Don't they get together in the end?"

* * *

They make love for the first time after they finish filming Blame it on the Alcohol.

(Because it _is_  love with them, not _sex_ , something you can just throw away and be done with. Because they are forever, and they know it, and this is only another beginning)

* * *

Kurt is buzzing with contained energy in the last minute before he goes on stage to sing a duet with his boyfriend in front of the cameras and an audience. For the first time they can act like boyfriends in front of a large group of people instead of like friends, they can sing a romantic duet with each other _on camera_ and have it be unequivocally clear that it's the two of them singing, not the entirety of the Warblers.

"Good luck," Blaine says simply and leans in quickly for a quick, chaste kiss, because even after their scripted encouragement scene earlier they still want to encourage and support each other, show each other their love.

"You too," Kurt says, "Not that you'll need it, though."

* * *

The emotions from all of the Warblers are completely genuine when it comes to  _Somewhere Only We Know_. Over the past year they've all gotten to know Kurt better not only through his relationship with Blaine and the show but also through school. Many of Blaine's friends have become Kurt's and it's hard to let them go. They've always been incredibly supportive, and even though Kurt loves the New Directions it has been refreshing to have constant support rather than constant backstabbing.

*

When it comes to the Barbara Streisand flash mob, Blaine's there in the background. He came to the mall with Kurt to do some shopping and to witness the spectacular show that is Kurt Hummel, the McKinley Glee Club, and it definitely pays off. He gets to dance along with the moves he practiced with Kurt for this, albeit in the background, and it's  _very_ enjoyable to watch his boyfriend dance like that.

After the song Kurt detaches himself from the mob and heads over to Blaine. "So," he asks, tucking away an errant piece of sweaty hair that had fallen out from under his cap thanks to the intense dancing he'd just done, "How'd we do?"

"That was fantastic," Blaine gushes.

Kurt quirks an eyebrow. "I bet it has nothing to do with being able to watch me in these skinny jeans."

Blaine flushes, but he grins. "That may be a part of it," he says, then wraps an arm around Kurt's waist and pulls him in for a kiss.

*

Blaine's sitting in the back of the auditorium when they film the Born This Way number, out of the way of the cameras. Of course he's here to support his boyfriend and to watch the New Directions perform. It's amazing what they can put together on such a short notice.

(Also, that tousled hair and the fierceness that Kurt performs with? Damn, that's hot.) 

After the performance Kurt jumps down from the stage, followed by Mercedes, and they head over to him. Blaine stands up and walks over to meet his boyfriend, but ends up getting a hug from a grinning Mercedes first. "Glad you could come, white boy," she says as she lets him go from the rib-crushing hug.

"As if I could miss it," Blaine jokes, "You guys were spectacular!"

"Well, my boo's back so there's no way we could be anything but amazing," Mercedes smiles.

"Too true," Kurt comments, a smile on his face as he observes Mercedes and Blaine.

Blaine turns to him. "I'm serious, Kurt, that was awesome! Especially the beginning,  _damn_ -"

"And that's my cue to leave," Mercedes says with a scarily Santana-like smirk, "Have fun, white boys!"

The two of them don't bother to stop her.

* * *

"Are they really that stupid?" Kurt asks as he and Blaine sit on the couch at his house, "Or do they just not have that much faith in me? I mean, we've been together for longer than any of them and haven't broken up yet. Do they really think I'm cheating on you? And with _Sam_ of all people?"

"I think they're just jumping to conclusions like usual," Blaine says, and Kurt sighs.

"I just wish they actually thought things through before assuming," Kurt says.

"I know," Blaine says quietly, "So do I." 

* * *

Kurt wipes his mouth and stands up from the dinner table. "Dad, if it's okay with you then Blaine and I are going to his parents' house to watch tonight's episode." Blaine nods, knowing his boyfriend's reasoning behind wanting to avoid Finn tonight.

"Why?" Finn asks, brow crinkling in confusion.

"Yeah, son," Burt echoes, "Tonight's supposed to be a family-watched episode. You said that this episode was the one where Finn and you finally became friends."

"Because tonight's the Gaga episode," Kurt says coldly, "And I don't really want to be with Finn when we see how he treated me when I was doing what the producers _told me to_ and he _assumed_ that I was _hitting_ on him and he called me _that_ _word_." _  
_

_(You know, Finn, I was_ acting _, Kurt had said coldly after the camera shut off, "But to know that that's how you really feel tells me a lot about you as a person_."

 _Finn had stood there, stunned._ )

"Whoa, angry Kurt," Finn mutters, eyes going wide. Then his voice goes back to normal. "Kurt, I said I was sorry."

"I know," Kurt says with a small sigh, "And I've forgiven you, I just...can deal with having to relive it better if I'm not with you when I watch it."

* * *

"I love you," Blaine says, that dreamy look in his eyes, and Kurt pauses. Even though it's probably the thousandth time he's heard Blaine say that, it still rings as true as it did the first time.

"I love you too," he says with a smile. "You know, Kurt Hummel's had a pretty good year."

And it's true. Despite the problems with Jesse and Karofsky, Kurt’s had a pretty good year. Hopefully next year will be even better.

 


	14. Homecoming: home is whenever I'm with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title is from "Home" by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros.
> 
> People only see the scripts pertaining to them. That is why Quinn doesn't know what's going on with Blaine. Kurt and Blaine shared it with Santana but no one thought to share Blaine's scripts with Quinn.
> 
> Also, hey guys! I finally started watching the first few episodes of Season 6 one agonizing episode at a time. I started with "Homecoming" because my little brother wanted to watch it, and I couldn't stomach the Blainofsky scenes for reasons already explained in Chpater 4. Here is my remedy for those scenes and just some of Season 6's more puke-worthy plotlines.
> 
> (Also, I love the Season 6 newbies but the Originals during that Season, well, not so much)

_"Keep on blaming the machine, yeah_

_I'm talkin' bout it_

_T-t-t-talkin' bout it_

_I can't complain about it_

_I gotta keep my balance_

_And just keep dancin on it..."_

_-Janelle Monáe,_ Tightrope

**_:_ **

**_::_ **

**_Sometimes if you want to make change you gotta make a little noise._ **

**_:_ **

**_We're all so different yet there's nothing we wouldn't do for each other._ **

**_:_ **

**_If you really want to get Blaine back, here's what you do. First, promise him that you're going to burn all of your clothing and then tell him you're going to start dressing like a normal person. Then I think you should really start getting honest with him about following you life's ambition, which is becoming America's top Barbara Bush impersonator._ **

**_::_ **

**_:_ **

After the cameras stop rolling for _Take On Me_  Kurt plops down heavily onto one of the cafeteria tables.

"What's the matter, Kurt?" Quinn asks, confused.

"I just wish Blaine could have performed with us," Kurt says.

"Yeah, me too," Santana says, coming up from behind Quinn. "Having the hobbit here would have made you and him happier."

"Where is Blaine, anyway?" Quinn asks.

"At Dalton handling Jane's audition to the Warblers."

"I wish he'd been here too," Santana says. "I mean, if we're going to go through with this season then we should have done all of the alumni scenes with Blaine too. I mean, it's like having Mr. Schue at Vocal Adrenaline. It just isn't right."

"I couldn't agree more," Mercedes joins in. 

* * *

Kurt drops Blaine off at Dalton before heading to McKinley, but before Blaine gets out of the car he leans in and shares a long kiss with Kurt. "Good luck," he says a bit hoarsely as he pulls away.

"You too," Kurt replies. "You whip those Warblers into shape."

Blaine smiles. "With the power of your kisses I can do anything. Have a great day, honey."

Blaine starts getting out of the car when Kurt replies. "It can't be too great without you, but I'll try," Kurt jokes, but it falls just the tiniest bit short. After a second of an awkward pause, Kurt smiles, trying to regain the mood. "Anyway, have a great day at work. Love you."

Blaine turns around to face Kurt. "You too. Bye."

"Bye," Kurt says, then pulls away after Blaine closes the door. Blaine turns around to find Jane standing just up the pathway, jaw dropped and hands clutching the handle of her satchel. He freezes, waiting for her to say something.

"So, Mr. Anderson," she eventually says, "You and Mr. Hummel are actually together?"

He smiles just a little bit. "Yes, we are. I'm guessing you want to know how?"

"If you don't mind, yes," she says.

"Alright, then, if you'll just follow me into school I'll tell you on the way."

As he starts telling Jane the abridged version of the events of the past five years, Blaine realizes that she and all of the "newbies" that have been introduced this season have probably been watching  _Glee_ for the past few years. Every time he overturns something else that the show has told them Jane has another question about something else that was on the show that his story contradicts.

* * *

"This is because of Dave, isn't it?" Blaine shouts, and how he wishes he could take it back.

Roderick starts to talk and Blaine shouts at him. "No, stay! See the kind of people your coaches truly are!"

Kurt looks at him with an angry expression on his face, and it's almost sickening how good of an actor Kurt's become, how good of an actor all of them have become. 

* * *

_Girl I've never loved one like you_

_Moats and boats and waterfalls, alleyways and payphone calls_

_I been everywhere with you (that's true)_

Blaine tries not to cringe during the "Home" song. He tries to pretend that Dave's arm is not a romantic one but rather a friendly one and smile like his heart isn't being slowly chipped away at. It kind of works, if he just lets his thoughts drift away from what's happening to him and just focuses on the happiness of all the other alumni and current New Directions students. He watches the fireworks burst overhead and smiles at the beauty.

At one point during the song his gaze drops from the sky and he looks over at Kurt, who's looking at him with a half-regretful, half-wistful look on his face. Blaine's smiles slips away for a moment as everything suddenly hits him again. He tries to smile again, but he can't quite muster up that level of even false contentment that he had before.

Then, as soon as the scene is over, he jumps out of the back of the pick up truck, mumbles a hurried "sorry" to Dave that he nods in response to. Then Blaine runs over to Kurt and wraps him in a hug. Kurt holds him too, tears running down his cheeks.

-

_Man o man you're my best friend_

_I scream it to the nothingness_

Santana stands off to the side, hand in Brittany's as she watches them. Over the past few years she's watched as Kurt and Blaine get better with having to pretend, but this crosses a line. They've been able to get through bad scenes without crying, but having to spend one of the main McKinley songs in another man's arms must be horrible for Blaine.

"My poor dolphins," Brittany says, and Santana nods.

"I wish we all didn't have to do this," she says, and Brittany leans her head on Santana's shoulder.

"Me neither."

-

_I follow you into the park,_

_through the jungle through the dark_

Dave hates this as much as any of them do. He has a boyfriend, you see, that he met back in Chicago- he and Layton have been going solid for a year and a half now. Now, having to act romantic with another man's fiance, especially the fiance of a boy he was forced to kiss four years ago? It's disgusting.

Layton knows about the contract Dave's signed, that until the show ends he's contractually obligated to appear in whatever episodes they want him to. It had been a bit of a bump in their relationship when he'd told Layton that he would have to pose as another man's boyfriend on the show but once he'd explained the details (and promised to bring Layton down to Lima during the filming so that he could meet Dave's parents and old friends) Layton had been much happier about it. In fact, Layton had even wanted to meet Blaine as he wanted to meet the other man who would be in Dave's position.

Dave had tried not to be too upset about everything that was happening, tried to just get through it and then go back to Chicago and forget about the show and everything that had happened on it. But then, once the cameras cut off, he has to watch as Blaine's smile falls away. Blaine jumps out of the car and mumbles, "Sorry," with a wobbly voice that shakes Dave. Dave can do nothing but nod as Blaine runs over to Kurt and hugs him, crying.

And he wishes, not for the first time, that he could take everything back.

-

_Home, let me come home_

_Home is whenever I'm with you_

_Home, yes I am home_

_Home is wherever I'm with you_

That night Kurt and Blaine collapse into bed together in a move eerily reminiscent of the night after Mr. Schue's wedding. At least they're not going to have to separate to different states the next afternoon, but the tears and comforting words are the same.

"Tonight was torture," Blaine says, and Kurt nods, dropping a kiss on Blaine's lips in the same moment.

After a few more minutes of near-desperate kisses Kurt asks, "Watching you with Dave- was that how bad it was with me and Adam?"

"Worse, probably," Blaine replies, "At least neither of us had any history with him. This time...well, you know how I reacted when I found out about it."

"I know," Kurt says, and the exhaustion in his voice is plain. "I just wish...well, I just wish that the show would end already. I love that we inspired other kids like us, but now it just seems like everything is being filmed for the point of getting a rise out of people." There's a pause as they engage in another round of breathless kissing, but then Kurt breaks them off.

"Blaine," he says, voice low and serious, "How bad is it exactly?"

"How bad is what?" Blaine asks, but the tremble in his voice gives away the fact that he knows  _exactly_ what Kurt's talking about.

"Being...romantic with Dave," he says. They got over their troubles talking about sex and like things a long time ago but it's still incredibly uncomfortable talking about intimacy between either of them and anyone else.

"No offense to Dave, as I know he doesn't like this as much as we don't, but  _really_ uncomfortable," Blaine says. "Not only is he not you  _and_ there's a very uncomfortable history between us but he's just so different than you. Not just action or talking wise, but physically. I mean, he's so much larger than either of us. His arm feels so...heavy compared to yours. It's like a bar trapping me there."

Kurt doesn't know exactly how to respond to that. It's an interesting if not entirely positive insight into how Dave and Blaine interact. "Maybe it's the weight of everything that's happening," is what ends up coming out, and to his surprise Blaine lets out a short chuckle.

"Well aren't we philosophical tonight," Blaine teases, bumping their noses together.

"What can I say? You bring out the best in me."


	15. SNEAK PREVIEW OF THE FINALE

FINAL EPISODE of GLEE (sneak peek)

_ Screen is black. After a few seconds of waiting a light comes on, exposing two familiar characters sitting in front of a black background. They sit on stools next to each other, hands on the sides that face each other loosely intertwined. They are both smiling, and there is a mixture of relief and vindictiveness on their faces. _

Kurt: Hi, I’m Kurt Hummel.

Blaine: And I’m Blaine Anderson.

Kurt: You might recognize us from our years on the hit reality TV show _Glee_.

Blaine: You saw our first kiss,

Kurt: Our first time,

Blaine: Our first break-up,

Kurt: Our proposal,

Blaine: Our second break-up,

Both: And our wedding.

Kurt: But only two of those events actually happened.

Blaine: Well, as they were portrayed on film.

Kurt: A lot of things happened differently in real life than they did on TV. 

Blaine: If you want to know the truth, stay tuned. The next 40 minutes will be be very…

Both: Enlightening.


	16. Proposal: if "happy ever after" did exist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The back half (after Christmas) of Season 4 episodes were filmed two a week, so the first half of season 5 /was/ filmed during their Senior year.
> 
> In this universe, "The First Time" was aired the night the spoilers about Blaine's cheating were released. 
> 
> Title is from "Payphone" by Maroon 5.  
> Episodes used: 3x21, 4x22, 5x01.

_"I'd rather be a rainbow than_

_Just some_

_Shade of gray!_

_We are, we are, we are_

_Stronger from every scar,_

_Brighter than any star..."_

_-Glee Cast, Outcast_

_**:** _

_**::**_

_**Is this him?** _

_**No, oh no. I mean, he wants to do me, but we're just friends.** _

_**:** _

_**There comes a moment in every performer's life that defines him or her, sometimes for the rest of their career. This is our moment. We've struggled. We've endured. And now we must triumph.** _

_**:** _

_**Take my hand and say  
** _

_**You'll always wish me well  
** _

_**And send me luck  
** _

_**Cause that would be enough yeah!  
** _

_**I'm gonna fly** _

_**:** _

_**We met right here. I took this man's hand and we ran down that hallway. And for those that know me, I'm not in the habit of taking people's hands I've never met before but I think that my soul knew something that my body and my mind didn't know yet.  It knew that our hands were meant to hold each others, fearlessly and forever, which is why it's never really felt like I've been getting to know you, it's always felt like I was remembering you from something. As if every lifetime you and I have lived, we've chosen to come back and find each other and fall in love all over again, over and over for all eternity. And I just feel so lucky that I found you so soon in this lifetime because all I want to do, all I've ever wanted to do, is spend my life loving you.** _

_**::** _

_**:** _

 

"That was...strange," Kurt says as they walk out of the restaurant after their 'date' with Jan and Liz, hands held under their jackets. He had been so ready to complain about the dinner, to rage against having to deny their relationship again, but the surprise of the two older women's proposal had given him conflicting feelings about the scene they'd just filmed.

"I know," Blaine says, "And it's going to be even more weird next week."

Kurt turns and smirks at his boyfriend. "Is that because someone else is proposing?" Still, Blaine catches a bit of uncertainty flicker through Kurt's eyes as he says that. Kurt's just as nervous as he is when it comes down to what's happening for the Season 5 premiere.

"It's going to go perfectly," Blaine says, "Everyone knows their cues and I'm sure all of our girl friends will squeal to their hearts' delight."

"But are  _you_ ready?" Kurt asks. "I mean, I know we're forever but you're a senior in high school and I'm in my first year of college. I thought Finn was insane for proposing to Rachel last year and even though I know the two of us are far more steady than they are I'm still a little wary."

Blaine turns to Kurt, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Kurt Hummel, are you ready to spend the rest of your life with me?"

"Yeah, but-"

Blaine takes Kurt's hands in his and looks him straight in the eye. "Kurt, my boyfriend, the love of my life, the reason why I even agreed to this lunacy of a television show, will you agree to spend the next few years with me, content in the fact that whatever the show throws at us we'll be together until our inevitably fabulous wedding after the show ends?"

"Yes," Kurt says with a breathless laugh, eyes suspiciously wet.

"There," Blaine says with a smile, "We're engaged." He pulls Kurt into a kiss.

"I can't believe you just did that," Kurt says as he leans back, smile wobbly.

"Well, you know me- always full of surprises," Blaine says.

"So, no ring yet?" Kurt jokes, and Blaine frowns a little.

"Not until next week, unfortunately. I really,  _really_ want to be able to put a ring on your finger, but because of the show..." he trails off helplessly. His tone, if he were anyone else, would be bitter, but because it's Blaine it just sounds a bit sad.

"I know," Kurt says, and  _he_ definitely sounds bitter, but he rests his forehead against Blaine's, there fingers entangled between them. "I understand, sweetheart. I know what that ring means. I just can't wait until next week."

"Neither than I, Kurt. I love you and I want _everyone_ to know it."

"Me too," Kurt breathes, and goes in for another kiss. 

* * *

 

They've all decided to group watch "Nationals" just for old time's sake-all the alumni who came back for Regionals (Kurt, Santana, and Mike) and all the kids still at McKinley who were on the team last year (Blaine, Sam, Tina, Artie, Brittany, Joe, and Sugar), as well as Unique for the Vocal Adrenaline performance. They watch their performances, enraptured nearly to the point of not blinking, pausing after _Edge of Glory_  to applaud the performers. Those who are here (Santana, Tina, Sugar, and Brittany) curtsy or bow while they pause the episode, grinning. Rachel, of course, is good, but it's not anything they haven't seen before. Then- _t_ _hen_  "Paradise" comes on and it's breathtaking. They have to pause it for a moment after the performance to just sit back and admire it before Vocal Adrenaline comes on and Unique basks in her well-earned glory.

The end of the episode is when everything goes to shit. They watch themselves celebrating, laughing and commenting as they remember, but then everything quiets a little as they watch the couples- save one- make out. There are mixed feelings- some of the couple have broken up and others haven't- but confusion (which quickly turns to anger) sets in as they watch to the end of the episode and Kurt and Blaine kissing is never shown.

"What the fuck?" Santana snaps when the credits start rolling, "Where are my boys?"

"The editors obviously decided that two teachers finally finding intimacy was more appropriate than a kiss from two gay teenage boys," Kurt says flatly. His tone is emotionless but Blaine, curled into Kurt's side with Kurt's arm around his shoulder, feels the tremble in Kurt's arm.

"That's just not right," Joe says, and most of them nod in affirmation.

"Seriously," Sam says, "Finn, we got to see Jesse St. Douchebag and you talking about Rachel but no Klaine? Dude, I'm disappointed."

"And a wild captain of the ship appears," Tina mutters into Blaine's ear, and he can't help but burst into giggles.

Kurt and Santana both turn and give him an odd look, like  _what the fuck are you on_ , but Blaine just waves them off. Santana shrugs and turns back around, but Kurt raises his eyebrow. "I'll tell you later," Blaine whispers, and Kurt takes his answer well enough. He kisses Blaine on the cheek before looking back at the conversation their friends are devolving into.

"Well, he is our Number One fangirl after all," Blaine whispers back to Tina, and she giggles as well, though she manages to keep her giggles a little more on the down low.

"I guess he's replaced Puck and Mercedes, then," Tina replies.

"Yep," Blaine whispers, "Sam and Santana are our number one 'shippers' right now."

"Not me?" Tina jokes.

"Nah," Blaine teases. Suddenly the group around them makes an outraged noise and the two of them turn back to figure out what happened. They find an infuriated Sam and Santana as well as a pissed off Kurt all glaring at Sugar.

"What's wrong?" Blaine inquires at the same time that Tina asks, "What did she say?"

"She said that it might have actually been a  _good_ thing that you guys weren't shown," Sam practically growls.

"Well, it's true," Blaine replies, and everyone looks at him, shocked. He clears his throat. "Well, think about it. The fans already hate me for the supposed "cheating" on Kurt, and every time we've been shown kissing on the show since the "spoilers" I've been bombarded by comments about "how horrible is it, that Blaine just cheated on Kurt and now he's acting like the perfect boyfriend on screen" or "he's a hypocrite- look, he just cheated on Kurt himself" or "that's disgusting, how could he". It's not easy when your boyfriend is a fan-favorite and the spoilers about your staged cheating were aired the exact night that your biggest ever douchebag moment filmed was released. So I'm not happy about being unrepresented, not in the least, but at least I'm not getting a deluge of hate-tweets and comments."

By this point all the arguing has died down, and the room is silent as Blaine chokes a bit on the final words and bites his lip. Tina has tears in her eyes and Santana still looks ready to take someone's head off, but Kurt's arm around his shoulders tightens slightly and Blaine looks over to find Kurt with his gaze trained to the ground, his lips pursed. Blaine can tell that he's trying not to show his emotions, trying to hide his frustration, but it's not working.

"You know what they say isn't true, right?" Joe asks, and Blaine nods.

"Of course I do," he says, "I know that Kurt and I are fine, that this is all a show and they don't know the first thing about our relationship. Still, that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. 'Cause it really does, it really hurts when someone calls me a cheater or says that I want to do other guys because Kurt, you're it for me. You're the one and barely anyone outside of this room and the glee club knows that. I know that we all agreed to this, that I signed up for this of my own free will and shouldn't complain, but I can't pretend this doesn't fucking  _hurt_."

A few of the kids in the room look a bit shocked to hear Blaine cuss, but Santana smirks. "Hobbit's got a backbone," she teases, and Blaine can hear the laughter in her tone.

"Of course he does," Kurt says, his smirk mirroring Santana's, "He puts up with you people on a regular basis."

There are a couple of dramatic gasps and groans from around the room, but mostly people just laugh, dispelling the air of sadness hanging over them all.


	17. 5.07, 5.12: i started to reflect on all that's been before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title is from "Low Life" by X Ambassadors.

_"There's nothing you could say, nothing you could do_

_There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
_

_So keep holding on  
_

_Because you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through..."_

_-Avril Levigne,_ Keep Holding On

_**:** _

_**::** _

_**We need to win this.** _

_**Feels like North Korea up in here.** _

_**:** _

_**I'm having a bad week.** _

_**:** _

_**We’re enjoying a long engagement.** _

_**:** _

_**This is crazy because I could really give two poops about this place.** _

_**::** _

_**:** _

"The  _fuck?_ "

There are no words to describe how much Blaine just  _does not get_ this week's script. Nevermind how he's being painted as a controlling dickhead, but  _puppets_ _? Really?_ He's making  _puppets?_ They're singing  _The Fox?_

He had thought it couldn't get any worse after he had been forced to twerk on _National TV_ and sign a song about date rape two weeks ago, but this? This is  _completely batshit insane._

"What's up, hobbit?" Santana greets him when he calls.

"I'm hallucinating about puppets," he responds, and she doesn't miss a beat.

"Probably because of your insane amounts of hairgel, Jack McFarland. You might want to get that checked out, though."

"No, seriously- in this week's episode I'm a controlling bastard who tries to rule the glee club like Rachel used to."

He can hear the smirk in her voice when she responds. "Well, you _are_ the New Rachel, so..."

He rolls his eyes. "You're ridiculous, Santana. Seriously, though, I'm a complete dick in this week's episode."

"Well, at least you're not showing your dick, Robert Downey-"

"Why are you talking about my fiancé's dick?" Kurt's voice filters over the speaker, and Blaine can't help but resist a smile over the word fiancé. He pictures the ring on Kurt's finger and can't help but feel a sense of satisfaction- _finally_ , they're together on the show and not only together but promised to get _married_. How long he's waited for this...

"Wouldn't you like to know, Legolas?" Santana snarks, and Blaine's pulled back from his pre-marital-haze-of-bliss. 

"I didn't know you'd know that reference, Santana," he says, and when she speaks he can practically _hear_ the force of her eye roll.

"We literally watched that movie together last year, Frodo. Remember the weekend when we marathoned guilty pleasure movies, you know, the three of us- Moulin Rouge, Mamma Mia, Lord of the Rings, and Clue?"

Yeah, Blaine is still shocked that Santana was the one whose guilty pleasure flick was Clue, you know, that one with the alternate endings and the FBI. It was admittedly kind of campy but honestly pretty good.

"Back to the topic at hand," Kurt interjects, and Blaine can just barely make out the sound of the bed springs creaking as he sits down, "Your dick. Why?"

"He was talking about how he has to be a complete prick in this week's episode and I brought it up."

"Oh, you too?" Kurt asks, tone nonchalant, and Blaine's blood stirs. He has gotten better at controlling his frustration with the writers for how they treat him, but how they treat his fiancé? Not acceptable.

"Why, what's happening to you?" Santana asks before he can get to it, and he feels pride at how quickly his friend is jumping to his fiancé's defense.

"Same as you, sweetheart," Kurt says, "Controlling asshole, you know? Not as bad, though, I assume, as I'm not a  _complete_ prick in this episode."

Blaine can hear Santana sigh after a few tension-laden moments. "You're just the pair, aren't you?"

"And we're _your_  best friends," Kurt replies, quick as a whip, and Blaine smiles when Santana replies, smile obvious in her voice.

"I guess I'll have to live with it, Neil Patrick Harris."

"Nice one," Kurt says, "I'll take it." 

* * *

As everyone breaks apart after "Raise Your Glass", Blaine clinks his champagne glass against Kurt, Santana (who gives him a lascivious wink as she does, which elicits a laugh from Blaine), Sam, and Tina's before tipping it back and draining it in a swallow. He's thrown back to junior year and a party where he professed to his lost virginity- how far he's come. He's engaged, has multiple best friends in Sam, Tina, and Santana, and is on his way to New York in a few days. So what if the writers made the last few years hell and sabotaged the New Directions' chances at Nationals with numbers that couldn't win? He's made the most he possibly could of it.

"I still think the Warblers' Raise Your Glass was better," someone says, and Blaine’s surprised to see that it's actually Santana, to his utter delight.

"Oh, really?" Mr. Schue says, chiming into the conversation. "Why would you say that?"

"Have you _seen_ the shower move?" Unique butts in, and there's a smattering of giggles around the group as her comment travels.

"The shower move?" Mr. Schue asks, a bit confused, and Mercedes moves to explain.

"That move where Blaine jumps in and out of the Warblers," she says, and Blaine’s cheeks flush as people turn to look at him.

"And don't forget those vocals, _damn_ , hun," Unique continues, fanning her face as if feeling faint. Blaine just blushes harder at that, though he does smile at the praise.

Kurt wraps an arm around his shoulder and Blaine practically melts at both the touch and at the words that follow. " _I_ personally enjoyed the fact that it was our first episode together," Kurt says, and Blaine knows he's talking less about the performance now and more about the weight that Regionals had carried for them in general.

"Yeah, speaking of which," April chimes in, randomly appearing next to Kurt, "I heard two _someones_ are getting hitched soon."

"We planned on a long engagement," Blaine explains, a bit of a lump growing in his throat. He honestly has no idea what's going to happen with his and Kurt's future, what's even going to happen with their wedding and engagement, and isn't that just _terrifying_. He knows what he and Kurt want- that is, what he just told April (a long engagement)- but he doesn't know if that squares up with the writers' plans.

"Ooh, congrats!" April squeals, "How'd you propose?"

"Watch the first episode of season five," Kurt deadpans, "7/8 central on ABC."

This elicits awkward laughter, but April doesn't seem to quite pick up on the mood in the room. "Will do, honey," she promises, giving Kurt and Blaine a very unsubtle wink. "Can't wait to see  _that_ sweet-tooth fulfilling wet dream of a proposal."

"Uh, is she always like that?" he hears Kitty mutter to Puck behind him.

"You tend to get used to it."

-

The cameras cut off and a very confused Ryder pipes up from the back of the room as Rachel and Mercedes stand next to each other facing the rest of the New Directions, arms crossed over their chests in anger. "Hey, quick question, and I may be misreading the situation, but why isn't Kurt up there with you two?"

"Because he didn't want to be part of the diva-off," Rachel immediately answers, and Marley frowns.

"Wait. Then why did he sing in between you two?"

Brittany nods. "Yeah, my unicorn didn't seem like he was doing it just to impress his dolphin."

"And by the way, while we're at it, I feel like I need to point out that Ladylips Hummel  _did_ hit that high F instead of throwing it this time," Santana chimes in helpfully, and Rachel shoots her a dirty look.

"It's true," Mercedes pipes up, uncrossing her arms. There's a tone of pride to her voice as she smiles at her old best friend. "You _did_ make the note, boo."

"We all did, 'Cedes," Kurt says, a small smile on his face.

"Yeah," Mike says, "Do we _really_ need to vote as to who wins?"

"It doesn't matter anyway," Mercedes pipes up, "We tie in the end."

A chorus of groans rises from the New Directions, as well as muttered comments that are somewhere along the lines of "come _on_ ".

Kurt can't really bring himself to care about it being rigged. He'd had his suspicions about the whole diva-off from the get-go as there was really no point to it in the first place.

He just wishes Rachel could see the same thing. 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to comment and leave kudos if you like. Also, recommendations for episodes to rework are accepted and welcomed.


End file.
